The Calvin and Hobbes Show: Season Two
by NMMacc18
Summary: Its back! Season Two of America's favorite boy and tiger combo are back for another season! With adventure, chaos, and thrills around every corner! With new friends and enemies, anything can happen! Next Episode: 12 Angry Calvin's-Calvin is accidentally assigned jury duty for a patent infringement case that his Dad is working.
1. 16: Calvin and Hobbes' Day Off

**The Calvin and Hobbes Show: Calvin and Hobbes' Day Off**

 **Written by JaJaLoo (yes, a singular fanfic.)**

* * *

 **JaJaLoo: YEAH, BOYS! Season Two of America's favorite boy and tiger combo are back for another season! This episode is based off of one of NMMacc18's early fanfics, with a JaJaLoo twist on it.**

* * *

Calvin's alarm clock went off at six-thirty.

You might be thinking, "WHAT? Calvin getting up early for school? When has his personality changed?"

Well, don't fret anymore.

You see, Calvin and Hobbes had devised a plan to skip school for the day.

Calvin snuck down to the basement, and booted up his parents ancient Dell.

I mean, seriously, who has those anymore?

Calvin was able to get into his mom's e-mail account, and he sent Principal Spittle a pretty believable email that he was sick, posing as his mother. He then snuck back upstairs to his room.

Hobbes was there, with a first aid kit at his side.

"Did it work?" he asked.

"Phase one complete." Calvin said. "Do you have the thermometer and hot water bottle?

Hobbes tossed both of those items to him. Calvin put the hot water bottle on his head, and pulled the covers over his head. Then he put the thermometer in his mouth.

"Just tell me how this will be a day off." Hobbes said.

"Did you not listen to me? I told you that I'm going to pull a Ferris Bueller."

"You saw that movie just last week!"

"I know, and I'll use his tips on how to skip school."

Hobbes sighed. "Are you going to miss anything important?

"Heck no!" Calvin chuckled. "I failed a science pop quiz last week. I won't get a detention today. And Miss Wormwood is going to teach us French. Why do I need to learn a foreign language? It's the worst thing ever."

Calvin and Hobbes then fell asleep, until Calvin's parents entered half an hour later.

"CALVIN!" Calvin's mom thundered. "YOU'RE GOING TO MISS THE BUS!"

Calvin groaned and turned over in bed.

"Mom, I wish you didn't yell, it's not helping my headache."

"Headache?"

Calvin's mom pulled Calvin's covers off his head, and there he was, with a high temperature, and a hot water bottle on his head.

"What the...DEAR! Get in here!"

Calvin's dad ran in, dressed for work.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Calvin's fallen ill." Calvin's mom said. "I don't think he'll be able to go to school today."

"What?" Calvin asked. "That can't happen! I want to go to UCLA!"

"Huh?" Calvin's dad said. "Calvin wanting to go to school? What happened? Did you switch bodies with Susie Derkins?"

"No." Calvin said, smirking.

"Oh, man, I'm late for work!" Calvin's dad said, giving his wife a kiss on the cheek and running out of the room.

Calvin's mom prepared to follow him, but then turned back.

"Calvin, I have a Mom's Club meeting today, so I'll be gone the whole day. I bought some food, and you can watch TV."

"OK." Calvin said.

Then Calvin's mom left, and then Calvin hopped out of bed.

Hobbes, in tiger form, watched Calvin get dressed.

"So, if we're going into town, how are we going to get there? Walk?"

"No, you dingy hairball." Calvin scoffed. "We're taking the bus."

"You don't have any money." Hobbes said.

"Yes I do." Calvin said, as he opened up his piggy bank and emptied out twenty dollars.

"How'd you get that?" Hobbes asked, confused.

"I needed money, so Dad told me to get a job." Calvin said. "So I got a job taking several odd jobs."

Hobbes nodded.

Calvin then pulled out the box out of the closet.

"OK, Hobbes, duplicate me."

Hobbes pressed the button and a duplicate walked out.

"OK, Dupe." Calvin said. "Me and Hobbes are going into town today. I need you to pose as me, and pretend to be sick if Mom comes home."

The Dupe nodded, and climbed into bed.

Before Calvin and Hobbes left the house, Calvin grabbed his dad's Walkman.

Yeah, he still uses those.

I can't blame him. Peter Quill uses one.

* * *

Meanwhile, at Bill Watterson Elementary School, class was about to start.

In a particular first grade classroom, Miss Wormwood was taking attendance.

"Susie?"

"Here."

"Moe?"

"Here."

"Nicholas?"

"Here."

"Calvin? Calvin? Calvin? Calvin?"

No answer. All four times.

"OK, Calvin's not here? OK, Nicholas, will you take this attendance sheet to Mr. Spittle?"

"Yes, Miss Wormwood." Nicholas said, walking out.

When Nicholas reached Mr. Spittle's office, he put the sheet in the attendance bin.

Mr. Spittle picked it up and read it over.

"OK, looks like everyone's here...WAIT! Calvin's not here!" Mr. Spittle said.

Mr. Spittle pulled up his email, and saw the email from Calvin.

He read the whole thing.

"...he is going down with the bad case of the hothead and has a high temparatuer." Mr. Spittle read. "Hold up, the parents spelled temperature wrong! This email is FALSE!"

Mr. Spittle stormed out of his office and headed to his car, where he drove off.

* * *

Meanwhile, Calvin and Hobbes had walked downtown to the nearest bus stop.

Several people gave them strange looks as they approached, wondering what the heck a kid and a tiger were doing at a bus stop.

A man bent down.

"Hey, kid, should you be at school today?" The man asked.

"No. I'm home schooled. My mom has a Mom's club meeting today, so she said class is cancelled." Calvin said.

The man shrugged and looked away.

"Whaddya think?" Calvin asked.

"Given about 25% of it is true, I'd say it's OK." Hobbes replied.

The bus came a few minutes later.

Calvin and Hobbes boarded, and took their seats.

A woman came up to Calvin.

"Excuse me, kiddo, can I sit here?" The woman asked.

"Heck no!" Calvin said. "There's a ferocious tiger sitting here. DEAL WITH IT!"

The woman rolled her eyes and moved to a different seat.

The bus started moving.

"So what's the plan?" Hobbes asked.

"So first, we go to Cuyahoga County Public Library. I have some overdue books I need to return. Then we walk over to Five Guys for some lunch. Then, if we have some extra money, we'll just blow it all on snacks and Polar Pops. We'll see a baseball game, and then go to the museum in a house, can't remember its name. And then we'll get home as fast as we can."

"How?" Hobbes asked.

"We hide in a pickup truck. Hopefully, we'll be home before Mom gets home."

"Good plan." Hobbes said.

"I know." Calvin said, putting in some earbuds, and he clicked on the Walkman. David Bowie's _Moonage Daydream_ started to play.

When the song ended, the bus had pulled up in front of the Cuyahoga County Library. Calvin and Hobbes exited.

"So which books do you need to return?" Hobbes asked.

"I had this Big Nate book that's been overdue for two years." Calvin said.

"Two years?!" Hobbes was shocked. "You need to clean your room."

"Heck no!" Calvin said.

The library was a good experience.

First, Calvin was told he could keep the Big Nate book had overdue, so he checked out all of the Captain Napalm comics he didn't have, and told Hobbes he'd keep those for over two years.

Then Calvin grabbed a few DVDs.

He grabbed a Lego Friends DVD, and then the 2014 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie.

"What's that for?" Hobbes asked.

"Pranking Susie. What do you think?"

Hobbes sighed.

Then Calvin and Hobbes left the library.

"Alright. It's almost lunchtime. Let's go to Five Guys."

Hobbes nodded, and the two hooligans left the library.

Both of them failed to see Principal Spittle on a stakeout.

"So he's skipping school..." Principal Spittle mumbled. "He won't get away with this."

Then his car drove off.

* * *

Meanwhile, Calvin and Hobbes had approached Five Guys.

Calvin walked up to the counter.

"Can I take your order?" the cashier asked.

"I would like a Bacon Burger with nothing on it, and a Bacon Cheeseburger, made the same, with extra ketchup."

"That'll be 7. 24." The cashier said.

Calvin slapped the money on the counter.

Their food came, and then they wolfed it down.

Calvin and Hobbes exited the restaurant.

"That was good food." Hobbes said.

"I know. Next on our agenda is spend our remaining money on snacks and soda." Calvin said.

"CALVIN? IS THAT YOU? GET BACK HERE! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN SCHOOL!"

The two turned around to see Principal Spittle, raging with fury.

"Oh, geez, Hobbes. RUN FOR IT!"

The two started running.

Calvin was able to take a radio nearby, and played the song _Shell Shocked_.

 _That's my fam, I hold em' down forever._

Calvin and Hobbes took off running.

 _Us against the world, we can battle whoever._

Principal Spittle got in his car, and started pursuit.

 _Together ain't a way we gonna fail._

Calvin and Hobbes were fast, though. Principal Spittle couldn't catch up.

 _You know I got your back, just like a turtle shell._

Calvin and Hobbes ran inside the local Target.

 _Nobody do it better, all my brothers trying to get some cheddar._

Mr. Spittle parked in an empty space, and started chasing them.

 _We all wanna cut like the Shredder._

Calvin and Hobbes ran through the candy aisle. Calvin opened a bag of assorted candies and spilled them on the floor.

 _Me and my bros come together for the dough._

Principal Spittle slipped on the candies.

 _Bought the orange Lamborghini, called it Michelangelo._

Calvin and Hobbes high fived and took off.

 _With the nunchuck doors and I'm pulling up slow._

Mr. Spittle got up and then slipped on some Triscuits.

 _When we fall up in the party, they know anything goes._

Calvin and Hobbes spilled some milk on the floor and Mr. Spittle slipped on it.

He crashed into some butter.

 _Check my Rolex, they say I'm the man of the hour._

Calvin and Hobbes grabbed an abandoned shopping cart and took off.

 _All this green in my pockets, you can call it turtle power._

Principal Spittle, covered in butter, took off.

 _All for one, we fight together._

Calvin and Hobbes crashed into the toys, and they grabbed a bike. Hobbes rode.

Guess why.

 _Knock, knock, you about to get shell shocked._

Mr. Spittle grabbed another bike and chased them

 _All for one, we ride together._

Calvin and Hobbes ejected from the bike, causing Mr. Spittle to flip over when he hit the bike.

 _Knock, knock, you about to get shell shocked._

Calvin and Hobbes hurled several Lego Dimensions packs at him, but Mr. Spittle dodged each one.

 _All for one, we fight together._

Mr. Spittle wasn't able to dodge a Lego Dimensions starter pack, which clocked him in the head.

 _Knock, knock, you about to get shell shocked._

Calvin and Hobbes fist bumped and took off.

 _This family can bear any weather._

Principal Spittle failed to get up.

 _Knock, knock, you about to get shell shocked._

Calvin and Hobbes exited the store.

"That was close." Hobbes said.

"We're lucky Target has several supplies." Calvin said. "Onto 7-Eleven!"

Calvin and Hobbes walked off.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes entered the convenience store, and then they stocked up on several snacks and sodas.

They left, and went to the museum.

They had a great time admiring valuable stuff.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes exited the museum.

"Well, that was fun." Hobbes said. "What's next?"

Calvin checked his watch.

"We have a few hours left. I think we should do something unscheduled."

Calvin and Hobbes ran to the park.

There was a birthday party in the park, and they needed a DJ.

Calvin went to the DJ stand, and activated a MacBook.

"OK, so, which website is the best music player?" Calvin asked.

"I'd try Spotify." Hobbes replied.

"Thanks."

It took Calvin a while, but he was able to pull up all the songs he wanted to play.

"Good afternoon." Calvin said. "I am Calvin the DJ. Dance to my songs or else."

The party guests cheered.

Calvin played these songs in order.

 _Black and Yellow_ by Wiz Khalifa.

 _Here Comes the Boom_ by Nelly.

 _Remember the Name_ by Fort Minor.

 _Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger_ by Daft Punk.

 _Shooting Stars_ by Bag Raiders.

 _Fun_ by Pitbull and Chris Brown.

And so much more.

* * *

After the party was done, Calvin and Hobbes walked to the nearest bus stop.

They got home before Mom did.

Calvin deleted his duplicate, and got back in bed.

Mom entered.

"Hi, Calvin." Mom said. "How are you feeling?

"A little better." Calvin said.

"That's good to hear. Your dad will be home soon."

Then Mom exited.

Hobbes turned to Calvin.

"This has been a successful day." Hobbes said.

"Indeed." Calvin said. "Now let's get some sleep."

* * *

Meanwhile, a Target employee came up to Principal Spittle.

"Hello, sir." The employee said.

"CALVIN! GET BACK HERE!" Mr. Spittle said.

The employee was confused.

"You! Where's Calvin?" Mr. Spittle asked, frantically.

"I don't know anyone named Calvin." The employee told him. "I wanted to tell you we're closed now."

Mr. Spittle weakly got up.

He then exited Target.

* * *

 **Voice work**

 _ **Tom Kenny as Calvin**_

 _ **Owen Wilson as Hobbes/Nicholas**_

 _ **Paul Rudd as Dad/Target employee**_

 _ **Scarlett Johansson as Mom**_

 _ **Jennifer Lawrence as Susie/Woman on bus**_

 _ **Jeremy Irons as Moe**_

 _ **Kathryn Hahn as Miss Wormwood**_

 _ **Tom Cruise as Mr. Spittle**_

 _ **Special Guest Voice: Matthew Broderick as the Five Guys cashier**_

* * *

 _ **Shell Shocked can be found in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014).**_

* * *

 **Coming up next: Calvin the Referee -** Calvin becomes a soccer ref.


	2. 17A: Calvin the Referee

_**Calvin the Referee-**_ **Written by NMMacc18**

* * *

 **After almost a month, I finally managed to get this episode out. Sorry for the long wait! I've been busy lately with other stuff. We hope to get episodes out on a more frequent basis soon!**

* * *

 **Plot: Calvin becomes a soccer ref.**

* * *

One ordinary day, Calvin and Hobbes weren't doing anything strange. In fact, they were bored, and were looking for something to do.

"Ugh, I'm so bored, there has to be SOMETHING that could possibly entertain us!" Calvin complained.

"Eh, we'll find something eventually I'm sure." Hobbes said reassuringly.

Eventually, the two came across a soccer game going on.

"You wanna watch this?" Hobbes asked.

"Sure, if this is all that's going to be available to us, might as well." Calvin replied as the two went and watched the game.

Eventually, the game ended, and they went home.

Later that night, Calvin and Hobbes were in bed.

"Hobbes?"

"Yes?"

"You know how we went to that soccer game today?" Calvin asked.

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Well, after actually paying attention at something and thinking about it, I think I want to become a soccer ref." Calvin said.

"You?! A soccer ref?! You've never played a game of soccer in your life! Not to mention you don't even know half of the rules!" Hobbes said in disgust.

"Oh yeah? I coached a game before!" Calvin said in his own defense.

"Yeah, and you got red carded that game, and ignited a riot." Hobbes shot back.

"Oh shut up, that ref was garbage anyway. But I realized, the ref has total power, and having that power of authority is something I enjoy. Plus, you get PAID!" Calvin said excitedly.

"You with any position of authority leads you to go on a power trip." Hobbes grumbled.

"Oh quit blubbering, what's the worse that could happen?!" Calvin asked.

"Everything. That's what." Hobbes replied.

Calvin ignored Hobbes' comment and went to sleep.

The next morning, Calvin was on the family computer looking up how to become a soccer ref.

"So you're actually serious about this?" Hobbes asked.

"Of course I am! Why wouldn't I want to be paid to throw people out of a game?!" Calvin said.

Hobbes sighed.

"Oh cool! This one guy has a one-day class today at the library for only an hour!" Calvin said as he found a class that was right near him.

"When is it?" Hobbes asked.

"It starts in like 20 minutes. So if we go now, we'll make it on time, so lets go!" Calvin said as he left the room. Hobbes sighed as he followed.

 **. . .**

At the library, Calvin and Hobbes went to the room the class was being held in, only to find that they were the only ones in the room.

"Did we go into the wrong room?" Hobbes asked. Calvin shrugged.

Eventually, a man came into the room.

"Oh good! Someone showed up today!" The man said pleased.

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.

"Hey kid, welcome to Ref School, I'm your teacher, Tom." The man said as he shook Calvin's hand.

"Er, nice to meet you I guess..." Calvin said awkwardly as he shook Tom's hand.

"So how old are you?" Tom asked.

"I'm six, but I've felt like I've been six for over 30 years." Calvin replied.

"Don't we all!" Tom chuckled.

"So, how do I become a soccer ref? Is it as easy as it looks? Do I get paid tons of moolah? Do I get to abuse my power?" Calvin asked at rapid fire to Tom.

"Full of questions I see! And I got answers to them all!" Tom said proudly.

And so, for the next two hours, Tom "taught" Calvin how to be a good soccer ref.

Why is taught in quotations you may ask?

Well, lets just say Tom wasn't a very good teacher, and was teaching Calvin a bunch of baloney.

"...and there you have it! That's all you need to know how to be a good soccer ref!" Tom said proudly as he finished teaching.

"I don't buy an ounce of that junk he's said..." Hobbes grumbled. Calvin elbowed him.

"So here's your certificate, be sure you don't lose it!" Tom said as he gave Calvin a certificate.

 _ **This certifies that:**_

 _ **Calvin the Bold**_

 _ **Has completed a soccer referee training course and is now**_ _ **eligible to officiate any soccer game for preschoolers to World Cup games.**_

"This is probably the most fake certificate I've ever seen..." Hobbes said as he observed it.

"Shut up Hobbes, you don't know anything about refereeing!" Calvin said sticking out his tongue.

Hobbes rolled his eyes, not wanting to deal with it.

"So when can I start working games?" Calvin asked.

"Well you're in luck! You get to work your first game in half an hour!" Tom said excitedly.

"WHAT?! WHAT KIND OF CLASS IS THIS?! HE ISN'T READY! DO YOU _WANT_ AN ANGRY MOB TO FORM?!" Hobbes said in disbelief.

"Relax stuffed talking tiger, he's ready!" Tom said reassuringly.

Hobbes groaned, he knew the game wasn't going to end well.

 ** _30 Minutes Later..._**

"All right suckers! Ready to start?" Calvin called out.

A few of the kids from each team nodded, albeit reluctantly.

"All right! Lets play!" Calvin said as he blew his whistle.

"This going to end badly, I know it..." Hobbes said groaning.

"Ah relax you stuffed tiger, the kid will be a natural." Tom said reassuringly.

"Yeah, a natural at causing mass chaos..." Hobbes grumbled.

For the first couple of minutes, everything went smoothly, but as the game progressed on, things got out of control.

About ten minutes into the game, a kid from the home team managed to get the ball into the box, but he tripped on the ball and fell to the ground.

 _ **TWEET!**_

"Foul! Opposing team!" Calvin yelled out.

"What?! He tripped on the ball!" One of the players' protested.

"Too bad chump, I call them as I see them." Calvin shot back.

And so, more bad calls ensued thanks to Calvin's horrific reffing skills, and thanks to this, by the time there was a minute left in the first half, the game was still tied 0-0.

However, a kid from the away team managed to get a good breakaway, but went off-sides as well, and managed to score.

"HEY! THAT KID WAS OFFSIDES BY A MILE! WHERE'S THE CALL?!" The home team coach screamed.

"The goal was fine, your just mad because you know your team sucks." Calvin replied back.

"DON'T TALK TO MY TEAM LIKE THAT!"

 _ **TWEET!**_

"Yellow Card! For being a big baby!" Calvin declared as he showed a yellow card to the coach.

"COME ON! YOU'RE CRAZY!" The coach boomed.

"Get outta here you old crab! Go whine to someone else!" Calvin said back as he showed a red card to the coach.

We would say what the coach said, but then we'd probably have to make this an M rated fic or something.

Oh, and a few kids from the home team got carded as well for arguing with Calvin about throwing out the coach.

At this point, the first half ended, so Calvin went other to Hobbes and Tom.

"So how'd I do?" Calvin asked,

"Perfect! Keep up the good work!" Tom said approvingly.

"Er, you went on a power trip, per the norm." Hobbes replied.

Calvin responded by throwing his water bottle at Hobbes before leaving to start the 2nd half.

And so, more bad calls galore came in the 2nd half, with more complaining, yelling, and cards aplenty.

Soon, there was a minute left in the game, the game was tied 2-2. Even though it should've been 2-0 with the home team winning, since Calvin was basically rigging it for the away team.

A kid from the away got a breakaway where pretty much everyone was at midfield, and he had no issue getting it to the goal.

But when the goalie ran out to try and kick it away, the kid from the away team rammed the goalie to the ground, and scored an easy goal.

"Goal!" Calvin yelled blowing his whistle.

"WHAT?!"

"HE SHOVED HIM TO THE GROUND!"

"HE CAN'T DO THAT TO THE GOALIE!"

"YOU ARE THE WORST REF EVER! YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED!"

The home team had basically surrounded Calvin, and Calvin made a run for it, with the team, and an angry mob of parents following suit.

"I warned him..." Hobbes said sighing...

 _ **The next day...**_

Calvin was eating breakfast the next morning when Hobbes tossed the newspaper on the table.

"You might recognize the guy on the front page." Hobbes remarked.

Calvin grabbed the paper, and was shocked to see what it read.

 _ **Wanted Con-Man Tom Ynnek Arrested at Soccer Game**_

"So basically my license isn't an actual license..." Calvin sighed sadly.

"Yeah, which I tried hinting to you several times." Hobbes remarked.

"Oh shut up, he taught me some good stuff, and I did a good job in that game."

"You got chased off the field by the home team and their parents, how do you classify that as a 'good job'?" Hobbes asked.

"Because my genius shouldn't be questioned." Calvin responded back.

"At least you won't be reffing games anytime soon." Hobbes said.

"Eh, who cares? I'll find another sport to officiate or something." Calvin replied.

"Good luck with that..." Hobbes said rolling his eyes.

"Eh, I'm bored. Wanna go play Calvinball?" Calvin asked.

"Sure, but I call dibs on starting the game in the Stupendous Scoring Zone!" Hobbes replied as they headed out.

"We did that last time fuzzbrain." Calvin grumbled as they left, to play another rousing game of Calvinball.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin/Tom/Players: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes/Players/Home Team Coach: Owen Wilson**

* * *

 **Next Episode: 17B: Professor Calvin: Miss Wormwood goes crazy from Calvin's antics and leaves class early, leading to Calvin to take over teaching, causing chaos.**


	3. 17B: Calvin to the Future

**Oh hey, its been a while hasn't it? And this is a different episode than advertised in the description, I'm aware. I couldn't think of a good episode idea for Professor Calvin, so I changed the episode. Also, sorry about the long wait for new chapters/episodes, whatever you want to call them. We've just been super busy with other stuff, so this hasn't been our main focus. Thanks for being patient and I plan to have the next episode out by the end of the weekend! (Yes, I'm being serious here)**

* * *

 _ **Calvin to the Future-**_ **Written by NMMacc18 and JaJaLoo**

* * *

 **Plot:** **Calvin and Hobbes travel to the future to steal an invention not yet made in the present in an attempt for Calvin and Hobbes to get rich quick.**

* * *

Hobbes was running, and running fast. A void had appeared out of nowhere, and it was sucking up everything in its path.

"I gotta get outta here, I gotta get outta here... Why did I let him talk me into travelling into the future?" Hobbes grumbled as he continued to run.

Hobbes then found himself cornered, with the void about to suck him up.

"ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Hobbes yelled as he prepared to embrace impact, only to wake up, realizing it was just a dream.

"Phew, it was just a dream..." Hobbes sighed in relief.

"Hey Hobbes."

"GAH!" Hobbes yelled as he jumped up to a tree branch.

"Geez, why so jumpy?" Calvin asked looking up.

"Uh, nothing... Just had a strange dream, that's all..." Hobbes said wearily as he climbed down.

"Okay, good. Because I got good news!" Calvin said excitedly.

"The Supermarket is handing out free samples of Tuna?!" Hobbes asked hopefully.

"Even better!"

"What's better that that?!" Hobbes asked confused.

Calvin then tossed out the Time Machine in front of Hobbes, his eyes widened.

"We're going to the future!" Calvin announced excitedly.

Hobbes fainted.

"Oh come on fuzzbrain, you act like this is torture." Calvin said as he waked Hobbes up.

"It is. You and your box are bad news and an accident waiting to happen." Hobbes replied.

"What?! All we're going to do is steal an invention that doesn't exist yet, bring it back to the present, then I can become rich! Not that hard!" Calvin explained.

"Aside the fact with you leading us on your dangerous escapades, do you not know the consequences of doing something like that?" Hobbes asked.

"What's the worst that can happen?" Calvin replied.

"Oh gee, I don't know, maybe, Time Paradoxes, causing the end of the world, etc,etc,etc." Hobbes said sarcastically.

"You're just a sissy, this will be a good thing." Calvin reassured.

"How?" Hobbes asked suspiciously.

"If I'm rich, then think of all the stuff I could buy! I could buy anything in the world!" Calvin said excitedly.

"Yeah, because everyone will be willing to take money from a wacko six year old..." Hobbes said sarcastically.

"Look, I'll throw in a lifetime supply of tuna if you help." Calvin offered.

"Deal!" Hobbes replied as he hopped in the box.

"All right! Put on your vortex goggles and off we GO-OOOO!" Calvin said as he put on his votrex goggles, pressed a button in the Time Machine, and they soon started flying through space and time.

"So how far into the future are we going to go?" Hobbes asked.

"I'd say about 100 years or so, since things will be more... futuristic in the future..." Calvin replied.

"That sentence made no sense at all."

"Shut up, we're going to be there in a minute anyway so help me find where we can land this thing." Calvin grumbled, not caring about Hobbes' comments.

Calvin and Hobbes then exited space and time.

And this time, they actually ended up in the future as planned, but they almost ran into a flying car, which they avoided, but then they crashed into a sign and crashed into a tree, and fell into a pond.

"Nice steering, Dale Doback." Hobbes said coldly as he and Calvin got out of the pond.

"It wasn't my fault we didn't hit the car." Calvin said in his defense.

"Actually it was..." Hobbes replied.

"Shut up, you little furball. We need to find something to pretend to invent." Calvin said as he started to look around.

"Can't you just sell the box?" Hobbes asked.

"Think about it. Everyone else, except us, believe the box is a simple box." Calvin replied.

"True..." Hobbes said in agreement.

"If people actually had an IQ high enough to understand the fact that this is more than just a simple box, I would've been a billionaire years ago!" Calvin said annoyed.

"Maybe its... nah. That's a stupid idea." Hobbes said, tossing aside his idea.

"Alright. Let's go on a hunt for that invention!" Calvin said excitedly.

And so, Calvin and Hobbes started running around in the future, looking around for anything to help them find an invention.

"Free tuna here!" A Salesman yelled out.

"Ooohh! Free tuna!" Hobbes said excitedly as he took a can and ate it. Though he spit it out almost immediately in disgust, "Bleaugh! This tuna is horrible!"

"Never trust a hobo on a street." Calvin replied as the two continued to explore.

"Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs here!" A Second Salesman yelled out.

"YES!" Calvin said excitedly as he took a box.

About two minutes later, he was dumping the rest of the cereal in a river.

"Oh, gosh! That was horrible!" Calvin said in disgust.

"Obviously they haven't changed in the past 100 years." Hobbes replied. Calvin glared at him.

"Shut up and lets figure out what we can pretend to invent. Hmm..." Calvin said as he looked around, and then saw a store, he looked inside it and saw an invention that looked to be what he was looking for.

"Whoa! This looks cool! What is it?" Calvin asked.

"It says a Double Perambulated Florgzipple." Hobbes said observing a sign for the invention.

"Excellent!" Calvin said excitedly as the two entered the store.

"Hi, kid. Welcome to Isiah's Inventions. How may I help you?" The Owner asked.

"Greetings future person. I'd like to buy that Double Perambulated Florgzipple. How much will that cost?" Calvin asked.

"That? Oh, that's seven hundred and fifty million dollars." The Owner replied.

"SEVEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY MILLION?! I OUGHT TO SUE! I BET LEGOS IN THIS FUTURE COST 2000 DOLLARS FOR A TWENTY DOLLAR SET! I BET YOUR ANCESTORS ARE THE REASON WHY INFLATION IS SO HIGH IN THE FUTURE!" Calvin ranted.

Calvin and Hobbes were then kicked out of the store.

"Well, that was a disaster." Hobbes remarked.

"I'll say! Seven hundred and fifty million dollars! Where are we going to find that money?" Calvin pondered.

"Maybe you can try talking to someone there." Hobbes remarked as he pointed to a sign.

Calvin looked at it, and was shocked at what it said.

 _ **Samuel Spittle High School is up in the air! Please enter through the Main Capsule Entrance!**_

"What?! What kind of moron would name a school after my pathetic excuse for a Principal?!" Calvin said shocked at the sign.

"I was more referring to the fact since the school is in the sky, you might find a kid that would help you." Hobbes said.

"Hobbes, that is ridiculous! No one at the school can help us, people who go to school are nerds!" Calvin replied.

Then, the school bell rang, and many kids flew out of the school with jetpacks.

"Forget what I said earlier!" Calvin said looking in amazement.

"Look. Someone who looks exactly like you!" Hobbes said, pointing to a high school kid that looked like Calvin, only taller. The kid was talking on his phone.

"Mom, I'm coming home. Spacefootball practice got cancelled-Hold on, there's someone that looks like me only younger, I'll call you back." The kid said as he hung up, and looked down to see Calvin and Hobbes, with Calvin looking on in excitement.

"Interesting, a dude that looks almost exactly like me." He said intrigued.

"Greetings there person who looks like me! My name is Calvin the Bold, I come from the year 2018 with my tiger here Hobbes. So got any inventions that will make me rich?" Calvin said.

"Calvin the Bold... wait... your actually him from the past!" The kid replied.

"Who me?" Calvin asked.

"Yeah! You're the one who caused World Wars 3 and 4 to break out, as well as nearly causing a revolution when you launched a coup as well." The kid replied.

"WHAT?!" Calvin said in shock.

"That actually doesn't surprise me..." Hobbes remarked.

"We were lucky our military put them down so quickly, and best part is nobody died in any of them... Oh yeah, my name's Calmanthe." The kid said as he shook hands with Calvin.

"What else did he do? Dare I ask..." Hobbes asked.

"He also made some sport called... Calvinball I think it was... It was a pretty big thing for a while, until it was discovered that you rigged most of the games. Most of the teams quit and you went bankrupt and fled the country so you wouldn't be arrested for tax evasion. And then once you were granted immunity, you came back, ran for President, which failed, and then you had some crazy attempts to try and take power, which also failed, and so you fled to Abu Dhabi since you were on the Most Wanted List in pretty much every country imaginable." Calmanthe explained.

"WHAT?! THERE'S NO WAY THIS COULD EVER HAPPEN TO ME! I DO NO WRONG!" Calvin said in outrage.

While Calvin continued to rant, Hobbes and Calmanthe look at each other.

"My ancestor was always like this wasn't he?" Calmanthe asked to Hobbes.

"Well yes he-ANCESTOR?!" Hobbes in shock.

"ANCESTOR?! YOU MEAN I ACTUALLY GOT MARRIED?! NO! THAT'T CAN'T BE TRUE! I VOWED TO NEVER MARRY!" Calvin said freaking out.

"Yes you did. You, my great-great-great grandfather, married a Miss Susie Durkines." Calmanthe replied.

"You mean Susie Derkins?" Hobbes asked.

"Uh, yeah." Calmanthe replied.

"WHAT?! I MARRIED SUSIE?! SCREW YOU GOD! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WORK FOR ME! NOT AGAINST ME!" Calvin yelled at the sky.

"You did." Calmanthe said.

"I knew it was meant to be! Woo woo!"

"TAKE IT BACK!"

Calvin leaped at Hobbes and began to wrestle him.

"Where was the honeymoon?"

"TAKE IT BACK!"

"Was I Best Tiger?"

"TAKE IT BACK!"

"Stop fighting! And to answer your questions, The honeymoon was in the Bahamas, and you were named Best Tiger." Calmnathe said to stop the argument.

"I knew it!"

"Shut up, furball!"

"Why are you here anyway?" Calmanthe asked.

"We came to 2118 to steal an invention from this era and make it our own to be rich!" Calvin said evilly.

"I see. What were you trying to steal?" Calmanthe asked.

"A Double Perambulated Florgzipple." Calvin replied.

"Don't worry, I think I know how to get some money." Calmanthe replied.

Calmanthe led Calvin and Hobbes to his Spacemansion.

"Ah. Home sweet space home..." Calmanthe sighed happily.

"Nice house." Calvin remarked.

"Thanks. My dad used to be a Calvinball player, captain of the New York A-Bombs, but he went into retirement after New York was bombed by...wait for it...A-bombs." Calmanthe explained.

"What a coincidence..." Hobbes said rolling his eyes.

"Mom, I'm home!" Calmanthe called out.

Hi, Calmanthe. Your weekly allowance is in your room." Calmanthe's Mom said, who looked similar to Calvin's Mom.

"Sweet! Thanks!" Calmanthe said as the three went up to his room.

"YES! Seven hundred and fifty million dollars! Now I can buy that Double Perambulated Florgzipple!" Calmanthe said in excitement after counting up his money.

"You're buying that too?" Calvin asked surprised.

"Yeah, but for a different reason. I'm gonna sell it on iBay. There's a guy who buys all my stuff that I put on there. Guess he's a junk collector." Calmanthe explained.

"So, To Isiah's Inventions?" Calvin asked.

"You bet it!" Calmanthe said as he and Calvin ran out, with Hobbes following. Eventually, they made it to Isiah's Inventions.

"Hi, welcome to Isiah's Inventions. Welcome back, Calmanthe. I see you've brought some friends." The Owner said.

"Yes, I did. I'd like to by a Double Perambulated Florgzipple." Calmanthe said as he handed the money to the Owner.

So the Owner rang it up on the register, gave Calmanthe the invention, and the three went outside.

"Here you go, Calvin." Calmanthe said as he gave the invention to Calvin.

"YES! SOON I'LL BE THE RICHEST MAN ALIVE!" Calvin said excitedly as he and Hobbes hopped in the Time Machine, but Isiah (the owner) stopped them.

"WAIT! What are you doing?" The Owner asked.

"Taking it to my own time, duh." Calvin replied as if the answer was obvious.

"Did you read the sign?" The Owner asked pointing to a sign.

 _ **No items taken to your own time period.**_

"WHAT?! THIS IS TYRANNY! THE GOVERNMENT IS EVEN MORE CORRUPT NOW THAN IT IS IN MY OWN TIME!" Calvin said in outrage.

"Sorry kid, rules are rules." The Owner replied.

Calvin, out of anger, pressed a button, and the Time Machine zoomed off into time and space. The Owner grabbed a little box with a button on it, and pressed it.

While Calvin and Hobbes were zooming through time and space, they heard sirens coming.

" _ **THIS IS THE TIME POLICE! HAND OVER THE INVENTION AND WE CAN ALL GO HOME HAPPY!"**_

"NO! OVER MY DEAD BODY!" Calvin yelled out as he continued to be chased, until they ended up back at the store in the future, and crashed into a sign.

While the Time Police lectured Calvin, Hobbes took the invention and gave it to Calmanthe.

"Here you go. Sorry about all that." Hobbes said.

"Its alright, have a safe trip!" Calmanthe responded as Calvin returned, and the two returned to the present.

"I gave the invention back to Calmanthe." Hobbes said.

"Yeah I know... Stupid time laws..." Calvin grumbled.

"Well look on the bright side, at least you know what your legacy is." Hobbes said jokingly.

Calvin grumbled for a moment, before coming to a realization.

"You know what Hobbes? Actually I don't know. Why you may ask? Simple, since we're in the present, and since I have free will, I can control my future. So all of that stuff we saw in the future is a bunch of baloney! Heck, that Calmanthe dude probably won't even exist in the actual future!" Calvin explained.

"Where did you get that idea?" Hobbes asked confused.

"Watch the end of Back to the Future: Part III fleabag. Now if you excuse me, I need to think of another way to get rich quick that involves time travel." Calvin said as he stormed inside his house.

"He'll never learn..." Hobbes said sighing.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin/Salesman 1/Time Police: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes/Salesman 2/Isiah: Owen Wilson**

 **Mom (Future): Scarlett Johansson**

 _ **Special Guest Star:**_

 _ **Calmanthe: Eddie Redmayne**_

* * *

 **Next Episode: 18: Coach Calvin-Calvin becomes the coach of the school's basketball team and attempts to lead them to the city championship.**


	4. 18: Coach Calvin

_**Coach Calvin-**_ **Written by NMMacc18**

* * *

 **Plot:** **Calvin becomes the schools' Basketball Coach after the normal coach is suspended and attempts to lead them to the city championship.**

* * *

Calvin grumbled. It was Sunday, and he was stuck at his school's gym selling concessions for the basketball game that was going on.

"Get your concessions! Get your ridiculously overpriced concessions!" Calvin called out as he carried a box full of concessions around the stands.

"I don't think saying that they're overpriced is going to garner any sales." Hobbes remarked.

"Well its true! Who in their right mind is going to pay $2.50 for a bottle of water?! That's highway robbery if you ask me!" Calvin said in his defense.

"Oh please, you should go to a game at one of the stadiums and see much they want to be paid. I've seen water at some places cost six bucks." Hobbes replied back.

Calvin sighed, admitting defeat, "This blows, all because I glued the Principal's Office door shut, such an overreaction." He grumbled.

"Not really, I doubt you'd want to be stuck in a tiny office glued shut." Hobbes said.

"Well the dumbest part is that how they figured out it was me! There's no security cameras by the office! Not to mention it could've been some other troublemaker! Who on earth could have they figured it out?!" Calvin said annoyed.

"Probably because you pull pranks like that." Hobbes replied.

"What do you mean?" Calvin asked confused.

"I mean, you go crazy when you go about with your crazy schemes and hi-jinks." Hobbes said, starting to explain.

"Oh please! I haven't done anything THAT bad lately!" Calvin said in his defense.

"What about a few months ago when you nearly got your Principal arrested because you somehow managed to convince the Government that he was a North Korean spy?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin didn't take too kindly to Hobbes' comment, and responded by throwing a Sprite at Hobbes, who then pounced on Calvin, and the two began to wrestle in the stands, and kept fighting until they fell down to the scorers' table.

"Twinky? What are you doing here?" A familiar voice asked to Calvin.

Calvin got himself off of Hobbes, and noticed that it was Moe.

"Moe?! You play Basketball?! I thought you were just one of those dumb jocks that only plays football!" Calvin said surprised.

"Yeah, I play more than one sport twinky, I also play Baseball and Lacrosse since you're oblivious to everything." Moe grumbled as the buzzer sounded and Moe went back into the game.

"Idiot." Calvin grumbled as he and Hobbes went back into the stands to watch the game.

Moe was actually really good at Basketball, as he managed to sink three 3-pointers in a row not that long after going back in.

While the crowd was cheering, Calvin, as you would probably expect, jeering.

"BOOO! YOU STINK MOE! THE ONLY REASON YOU'RE GOOD IS BECAUSE YOU TAKE STEROIDS YOU GOT FROM A-ROD!" Calvin yelled out.

Moe heard this, and then intentionally bounced the ball out of bounds so it went into the stands, and hit Calvin right in the face. Calvin then responded by throwing it right back at Moe, but missed horribly.

"You sure have a lousy shot, you wouldn't even make the Basketball Team even if you tried out!" Hobbes laughed.

"Shut up, not like I'd have any business with this cruddy team." Calvin grumbled.

"I heard that they're 13-3, and they clinched a spot in the playoffs, so obviously they aren't that bad." Hobbes remarked, Calvin just rolled his eyes.

Soon, with about two minutes left in the game, Moe got a breakaway, but then got tripped from behind by a player from the other team and they both crashed into the wall.

 _ **TWEET!**_

"Flagrant One on Bobcats Number 0." The Ref said.

"What?! He sent me into the wall!" Moe argued.

 _ **TWEET!**_

"Technical Foul Bobcats" The Ref said.

"OH COME ON! YOU STINK REF! HE DIDN'T DO NUTTIN'!" The Basketball Coach screamed at the ref.

 _ **TWEET!**_

"You're outta here!" The ref said to the Coach.

"OH COME ON! I BARELY SAID ANYTHING! YOU'RE AWFUL!" The Coach screamed at the ref.

"THAT'S IT! THE GAME IF FOREFITTED!" The ref yelled at.

As the crowd continued to boo, the Coach out of anger grabbed the possession pylon and threw it to the ground. Then he chased the ref out of the gym, and had to be restrained by couple of parents.

"Sheesh, what's his problem?" Hobbes remarked in disgust.

"I know! He should've thrown that at the ref!" Calvin said, not getting where Hobbes was going. Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"Ha! In your face Moe! That's what you get for being stupid! Ha!" Calvin called out to Moe as the team was leaving the gym, Moe glared at him.

"That coach probably won't be coming back here anytime soon." Hobbes remarked as the crowd began to file out of the stands and leave.

"All he did was curse out the ref, chase him out of the gym, and destroyed some possession pylon, nothing THAT bad." Calvin said.

"You really don't understand sports do you?"

"I understand my own sport."

Hobbes sighed, he knew Calvin wouldn't understand the ethics of any sport rather than Calvinball.

 ** _The next day..._**

Principal Spittle was busy in office reviewing documents and signing them when the phone rang. He sighed and picked it up.

"Bill Watterson Elementary School. You've reached Principal Samuel Spittle, how can I help you?"

"Hi Sam, this is the Commissioner of the Ohio Elementary School Sports Association." The voice on the other side said.

"Ah, Mr. Commissioner! How are you on this fine Monday morning?"

"I'm alright Sam. So I called you about the basketball game that took place yesterday. I'm sure you heard about it by now..." The Commissioner began.

"Yes, I'm aware, our school's athletic director told me about it when I got to school this morning." Principal Spittle said sighing.

"Yeah, don't feel bad Sam, not really anything you could've done about it. But... I've decided to suspend your coach for the rest of the basketball season, including the playoffs." The Commissioner said.

"That sounds fair, we'll be sure to find a replacement coach." Principal Spittle said.

"Good, hope to see you at a game soon!" The Commissioner said as he hung up.

Principal Spittle sighed, "Oh well, time to deal with ANOTHER issue..." as he went to the Athletic Director's Office.

 **. . .**

The Athletic Director sighed, hanging up the phone.

"He won't do it either?" Principal Spittle asked.

"Unfortunately no, he said he was going to be too busy coaching at Unkrich Middle School to coach our team as well." The Athletic Director explained.

"Well, that pretty much eliminates every option we have..." Principal Spittle said sighing.

"I mean I would do it, but I was asked to help out with workouts for Baseball and Lacrosse at Charles Schultz High School." The Athletic Director explained.

"And the last time I even coached a sport was in the seventies when I started here as a teacher." Principal Spittle said.

After thinking for a few minutes, the Athletic Director got an idea.

"What if, we just make the next person who comes in here our coach? Then our problems would be solved!" He suggested.

"I'm for it!" Principal Spittle said in agreement.

Then, without warning, a trash can came crashing into the office, and hit the Athletic Director's desk, and a kid went flying out of it.

Take a wild guess who was in it.

"Darn you Moe! I'll get you for this somehow!" Calvin yelled out in annoyance, only to see Principal Spittle and the Athletic Director looking at each other nervously.

"Oh boy..." Principal Spittle groaned.

"What? What's going on here?" Calvin asked confused.

"Wait, you look familiar... Aren't you the Noodle Incident kid?" The Athletic Director asked, looking at Calvin.

"I WAS FRAMED!" Calvin shot back. Principal Spittle rolled his eyes.

"Right... So, you see here..." The Athletic Director began.

"You might've heard about our basketball coach being suspended..." Principal Spittle added in.

"Oh yeah! I was there! That coach you have is a big baby! Ha!" Calvin said laughing. The two adults groaned.

"So we need a new coach and..." Principal Spittle began to say.

"Oh, you want me to be the Coach?" Calvin asked.

"I mean, sure, considering you're the only one willing to do it." The Athletic Director said.

"Well you're in luck! Considering that I probably don't have anything else better to do rather than watch TV, I'm in!" Calvin proclaimed.

The two adults breathed a sigh of relief.

"So how much do I get paid?" Calvin asked.

"Uh, you don't get paid for coaching an elementary school basketball Calvin..." Principal Spittle said.

"WHAT?! I DON'T GET PAID?! THIS IS JUST LIKE THE TRACK TEAM AS WELL!" Calvin said angrily.

"Look kid, we'll pay after the season ends, okay?" The Athletic Director said, trying to avoid another conflict.

"Fine! But I better see a bunch of those greenbacks! Now if you excuse me, I have practice plans I need to make, BWAHAHAHAHA!" Calvin laughed manically as he left the office.

The two adults sighed, they knew Calvin coaching could very well lead to disaster, but they figured that Calvin couldn't cause that much chaos.

I mean, how much damage can a six year old coach cause?

Well, a lot actually. If that surprises you.

So later that day after school, the basketball team was waiting for practice to start, they weren't doing anything since they didn't have any balls.

"Where's Coach at? He'd normally be here by now." Moe asked. A few of the other kids shrugged.

Suddenly, Calvin came crashing into the gym with a cart full of basketballs, and he crashed into the gym mats.

"I'm okay!" Calvin yelled out.

"Twinky? What are you doing here?" Moe asked confused.

"Oh yeah, about that. I got good news and bad news." Calvin began.

"What's that supposed to mean?" One of the kids asked.

"Well... I'll start with the bad news first. Sure while I hate to be the bearer of bad news, it is my pleasure to inform you that your coach's little tantrum after your game yesterday has been suspended by the league for the rest of the season." Calvin announced.

The players gasped.

"Who's going to coach us now?" One kid went.

"There goes our chances of winning the championship..." Another grumbled.

"Coach didn't do nuttin' wrong, that ref deserved it!" Moe went.

"Relax you fools. The good news is that I'm your coach for the rest of the season!" Calvin announced proudly.

"WHAT?!" The whole team went at once.

"Twinky, you've never coached a sport in your life! Plus you are like the least athletic person I know!" Moe said.

"Moe's right! We need someone with experience!" A player said in agreement.

"Oh quit blubbering! I'll be the greatest coach ever! I'll lead you guys to the championship!" Calvin said assuringly.

Moe grumbled.

"Come on Moe, the kid seems pretty confident. Besides, its been years since we last one the city title! I'm sure he's played basketball before." Another player said in Calvin's defense.

"Uh... Yeah sure! Maybe in a parallel universe I have..." Calvin said trying to think of an answer.

"Alright twinky, your in as our coach. I guess..." Moe said, albeit reluctantly.

 **. . .**

"So alright here, we want to win right?" Calvin began.

"RIGHT!" The whole team went.

"Good! So in order to win, we need to practice hard. And I now you guys have the potential to do well, but we stink right now." Calvin said.

"We have the second best record in the league! Plus we're going to the playoffs! So how do we stink?" A player asked.

"Because you guys lost your last game, and when you guys made the playoffs last year, you got knocked out in the first round." Calvin replied.

"What's that got to do with anything?" Another player asked.

"Because, if we stink, we need to get better. And what do we do when we stink?"

"Practice?" One kid suggested.

"Close..." Calvin responded, "WE RUN WIND SPRINTS LIKE IN GYM CLASS!" he said excitedly.

Calvin observed as his team ran tirelessly around the gym.

"Wow! I'm not even the gym teacher and I'm loving this! Who knew being a coach was so fun?" Calvin said proudly.

"Can we get a water break twinky? This is like the twentieth lap we've ran!" Moe asked exhaustively.

"Eh... Give me like fifteen more then you guys can have one." Calvin replied, the team groaned.

After that, Calvin had the team shorting baskets until their arms were sore, to which he finally decided to end practice.

"Alright suckers, good practice today. Sure you worked hard, but you guys gotta work harder. If we want to show everyone we'll rock it out in the playoffs, we need to dominate our last two games and go in with that good momentum." Calvin explained.

"How is it considered a good practice if all we did was run and shoot until we practically passed out?" One kid asked.

"Because, its fun to watch others suffer." Calvin replied.

All the team members rolled their eyes.

"So I guess we have our next game this Saturday against the Roosevelt Rough-riders. Now you guys better win since this is taking time out of MY Saturday! But anyways, just do... whatever it is you guys do when you aren't at practice to help us win games. Later suckers!" Calvin said as he finished he speech and left the gym.

The team members looked at each other for a minute.

"This isn't gonna end well..." Moe grumbled.

 _ **Later...**_

Calvin made it home and went up to his room, Hobbes was in there reading a comic book.

"Where were you? I had the perfect pouncing plan yet, but then you don't even come home!" Hobbes exclaimed.

"I was at basketball practice." Calvin responded.

"Since when do you, hater of all sports besides your own, like basketball so much?" Hobbes asked surprised.

"Oh, I'm not playing, I'm coaching the team." Calvin explained.

"You?! Coach?! You barely know anything about basketball! Plus, why on earth would you be named the coach of all people?" Hobbes exclaimed.

"Oh, Mr. Spittle and the Athletic Director made me coach after Moe sent me into his office in a trash can. I guess they couldn't find a replacement." Calvin explained.

"I don't think this will end well with YOU at the helm." Hobbes remarked.

"Oh please, I'm an excellent coach!" Calvin said in his defense.

"What about that time you coached the soccer team and started a riot?" Hobbes asked.

"Oh shut up, that game was rigged. Plus those kids were garbage." Calvin said in his defense.

"This isn't going to end well..." Hobbes sighed.

 _ **Later...**_

Calvin and his parents were eating dinner quietly, before Dad broke the silence.

"So Calvin, your mother tells me due to a series of bizarre circumstances, you're coaching the school's basketball team." Dad said.

"Pretty much." Calvin replied.

"Well I think that's great! Coaching sports teams builds character!" Dad explained. Calvin rolled his eyes.

"Oh really? How much character did you build coaching a sport team dare I ask?" Calvin asked.

"Lots! Your Uncle Max and I coached several sports teams while we were in college!" Dad said proudly.

"Dear, when you and your brother coached basketball, your final record after two years of coaching was 0-16." Mom piped in.

"Defeat builds character as well." Dad said in his defense.

"For a second there, I was going to actually ask you for some advice, but with that kind of record, forget it." Calvin said as he left the table. Dad sighed in defeat.

 _ **A few days later...**_

"Alright suckers! We're playing against the Roosevelt Rough-Riders! So does anyone know anything about them?" Calvin asked as he began to talk to the team.

"I think they've only won like three times this season." One kid said.

"Excellent! Easy win for me-er I mean us!"

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"Alright then, lets go out and win this thing!" Calvin said triumphantly. The team stared at him.

"What? Did you expect me to go on some stupid inspirational speech like in those movies?"

"No, we're waiting for the starting lineup." Another kid said.

"Oh yeah! So lets see here... uh..." Calvin said unsure of himself as he looked at the roster on his clipboard.

"Here, use last game's lineup." Hobbes said handing him a sheet of paper.

"Alright fine... So I guess Moe, Jimmy, Quinn, Sam, and Kyle will start I guess. So with that out of the way, lets win this thing!" Calvin said as he bolted out of the locker room.

And so, the game started. The Bobcats got the ball of the tip-off, and Moe got the ball. He took it near the basket, shot, though it rolled off the hoop and the Rough-Riders got the ball.

"Oh well, he got unlucky. He'll get the next one probably." Hobbes remarked.

Hobbes looked to see that Calvin was already having someone sub in for Moe. He groaned.

"Why'd you take me out twinky? We're only 20 seconds into the game!" Moe protested.

"Because of that lousy shot you made! Now get on the bench!" Calvin shot back. Moe grumbled and sat down.

And so, with Calvin wanting absolute protection (unsurprisingly), he rotated everyone on the team at least four or five times by the time halftime came around. The game was tied 14-14.

Back in the locker room, Calvin thought on what to say for a moment.

"Alright. Where do I begin... Let me just start by saying that you guys STINK! You're playing like this is an elementary school basketball team!" Calvin ranted.

"Maybe because this _is_ an elementary school basketball team..." Hobbes said rolling his eyes.

"SHUT UP HOBBES!"

"Well it doesn't help that you keep on benching everyone for small mistakes, and even missing a basket!" One kid said.

"Yeah! Not our fault the ball would circle around the hoop and then fall out!" Another said in agreement.

"SHUT UP! YOU TWO IDIOTS ARE BENCHED FOR THE REST OF THE GAME!" Calvin shot back.

"FOR WHAT?!" The two said.

"FOR QUESTIONING MY BRILLIANCE!" Calvin shot back.

"Twinky, you could calm down a lit-"

"SHUT UP MOE OR ELSE YOU'RE BENCHED AS WELL! ANYONE WHO CONSIDERS BACK TALKING ME IS GOING TO BE SITTING ON THAT NICE AND COLD BENCH WITH ME!" Calvin yelled out.

"Technically, they're chairs. Its not even a bench." Hobbes remarked.

"Shut up fuzzbrain. Alright! Lets show who the best team is! Lets win this game!" Calvin said as he again bolted out of the locker room.

And so, pretty much the same stuff that happened in the first half was happening again in the second half. Everyone on the team was getting fed up with Calvin's antics.

This came to blows between one player and Calvin with about two minutes left in the game.

Take a wild guess who it was between.

Moe went up for a shot, and it almost went it, but fell out.

"GAH! YOU STINK MOE!" Calvin yelled out as he motioned for another player to go in for him.

"Really? That's the 10th time today you've benched me for missing a shot!" Moe grumbled.

"Well that's what you get for being garbage at basketball! Now go sit on that bench and get comfy!" Calvin shot back.

"Well you're a garbage coach as well..." Moe grumbled as he passed Calvin.

Calvin did not take to kindly to this comment as one could easily predict.

Calvin proceeded to grab a towel, fastened it like a whip and lashed it right at Moe.

Moe turned around, and lunged at Calvin, and the two began wrestling.

The Referee wasn't paying any attention to the argument until he started hearing the two screaming, and their wrestling sprawled out onto the court.

"GET OFF ME YOU BIG GALOOT OR YOU'RE GONNA GET BENCHED FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON!"

"MAYBE YOU SHOULD LEARN TO TAKE CRITICISM TWINKY!"

Eventually, the team members got Calvin and Moe away from each other. The two both got a technical foul each for their actions.

Had Calvin kept his mouth shot, the team probably would've had a good shot at winning, but four tech shots that the other team made cost them, and they ended up losing 34-28.

Hobbes had to make sure Calvin didn't get near Moe as they went back to the locker room.

"Well if its one thing I learned today, is that this is the most pathetic excuse for a team I've ever had! You guys are flat out trash! I bet the Cleveland Browns could beat us!" Calvin began.

"Why are you comparing a pro football team to an elementary school basketball team?" One kid asked.

"BECAUSE ITS A REASONABLE COMPARISON! NOW I-"

Calvin never finished his sentence as Moe got up and shoved him into one of the lockers.

"Lets get outta here. Sure we're probably gonna have to run more because of it, but its worth it.." Moe said as he left, the other players followed.

Calvin responded to this by having the team run non-stop at practice that week with absolutely no water breaks, as well as throwing basketballs at them.

And so came the next game, the last game before the playoffs started. Even though Calvin did absolutely no drills with them, the team actually played pretty well, and were down by two with about 45 seconds left in the game. Calvin called a timeout to discuss his plan.

"Alright. We got this in the bag! All we need to do is get a three and this game is ours! Just uh... do whatever it is you do to get three-pointers and we'll win!" Calvin said to his players. They looked at him confused, but shrugged, and went back out prepared to do what they needed to do to win.

The Bobcats got the ball down to the side they needed to, but then one of the players got boxed up.

"COME ON! PASS IT!" Calvin yelled out.

"Gotta pass... gotta pass... MOE TAKE IT!" The player with the ball said as he passed it to Moe. Moe attempted to go for a shot, but slightly twisted his ankle, and the shot missed.

"MOE YOU IDIOT! HOW COULD YOU NOT MAKE THAT SHOT! COME HERE YOU LITTLE-"

 _ **TWEET!**_

"Technical Foul Bobcats." The Referee said.

"WHAT?! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" Calvin protested.

"You went out of the coach's box. That's an automatic technical!" The Referee replied.

"WHAT?! COACH'S BOX?! NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT THIS RULE! I OUGHTA COMPLAIN TO YOUR BOSS ABOUT HOW YOU'RE RIGGING IT!" Calvin protested as Hobbes dragged him away.

And so, unsurprisingly, Calvin once again cost his team a chance at victory, and they lost 30-34.

"YOU IDIOTS! ALL I ASK IS FOR YOU TO MAKE ONE SIMPLE PLAY AND YOU ALL BLEW IT! ESPECIALLY MOE! AND THAT DUMB REF!" Calvin ranted in the locker room after the game.

"I twisted my ankle a little twinky, what did you expect me to do?!" Moe said annoyed.

"I EXPECTED YOU TO MAKE A SHOT THAT WOULD'VE WON US THE GAME! AND BECAUSE OF THAT PATHETIC EXCUSE OF PLAYING, THOSE FIVE LOONS THAT COST US THE GAME ARE BENCHED FOR OUR FIRST PLAYOFF GAME!" Calvin shot back.

"But those are our best players!" One kid protested.

"I don't care! Its time to show that we are the team to beat. For this, is our time to shine..." Calvin said determined, hoping to inspire his players. Who in turn responded by leaving.

"I think you need to work on your speeches." Hobbes remarked after everyone had left.

"Oh shut up..." Calvin grumbled.

* * *

 _ **Commercial Break**_

* * *

The night before the first playoff game, Calvin and Hobbes were watching Coach Carter.

"Remind me again why this is supposed to help you become a better coach?" Hobbes asked.

"Because if I pick up Ken Carter's tactics, then I can use that to lead us to victory." Calvin replied.

They got to the part were Carter locked the gym, Calvin was amazed.

"Wow! I can't believe I didn't think about doing that before! No wonder his team was so good! He locked the gym because they stunk so bad!" Calvin said in amazement.

"Actually he locked the gym up because most of the team members were flunking school." Hobbes remarked.

"Eh, who cares? I should use that as a tactic..." Calvin said in awe. Hobbes groaned.

And so, the day came.

"Alright, we're up against Ulysses S. Grant Veterans. I expect great things out of you guys today, and today is the day we become winners. As of today, you are no longer a loser, but a winner. So that's why I want you all to sign this contract-"

"Aren't contracts a thing you'd give out at the START of a season twinky?" Moe asked.

"Oh! Uh... okay you're actually right Moe... I guess. So you know, just do stuff that'll make us win! NOW LETS DO THIS!" Calvin yelled as he did his customary bolting out of the locker room.

Calvin attempted to use all the "tactics" he learned by watching Coach Carter, and somehow, it did. The Bobcats were keeping pace with the Veterans the entire game, and with two minutes left in the game, things were looking good. The Bobcats were up by three to the Veterans.

But then, everything fell apart.

"Alright, under two minutes to go! This game is good as won!" Calvin said happily.

"I wouldn't say that." Hobbes remarked.

"Why?"

"Well you know what they say, 'It ain't over till its over'" Hobbes replied. Calvin ignored him and continued to watch the game.

Moe got the ball (Who Calvin let play along with the others he was going to bench after he realized that they could help them rack up points easily, even with occasional mistakes) and went to the basket, but got tripped by a player from the Veterans, and Moe fell into another player from the Veterans.

"Foul on Number 21 Bobcats. Charging." The Referee said.

"Uh-oh..." Hobbes said gulping.

"WHAT?! YOU CALL THAT A FOUL?! MY GUY GOT TRIPPED!" Calvin protested.

 _ **TWEET!**_

"Technical Foul Bobcats." The Referee said.

"WHAT?! I'M INSINUATING THE TRUTH YOU MORON!" Calvin yelled.

"One more word out of you coach and you're gone!" The Referee shot back.

"NO! THIS IS MAHOGANY!" Calvin said as he grabbed an empty chair and THREW it at the referee. The referee dodged it and the chair ended up at the other side of the court.

"Nice chair throw Bobby Knight." Hobbes snickered.

 _ **TWEET!**_

"YOU'RE OUTTA HERE!" The Referee yelled at Calvin.

"NO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME LEAVE! ITS A FREE COUNTRY YOU COMMUNIST! AND I'LL DO WHAT I WANT!"

 ** _TWEET!_**

Calvin got another technical foul.

"THIS IS RIDICULOUS! YOU WERE OBVIOUSLY PAID OFF BY THE OTHER TEAM!"

 ** _TWEET!_**

"YOU CAN CALL AS MANY AS YOU WANT, BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE ME LEAVE!" Calvin yelled as he threw off his shirt.

And so, Calvin got another technical, and another, and another until he had stripped down to his underwear. Hobbes eventually got tired and dragged Calvin off the court kicking and screaming.

"YOU MAKE JOEY CRAWFORD LOOK LIKE A GOOD REFEREE! I HOPE YOU LOSE YOU'RE JOB AND END UP ON THE STREETS YOU ATHEIST!" Calvin yelled as he was called for another technical foul.

When it was all figured out, Calvin had gotten eight technicals. So the Veterans got 16 tech shots, and made 9 of them.

Oh, and the Bobcats lost, if that surprises you by now.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT TWINKY! YOU CAN'T LEARN TO CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS AND IT COST US THE REST OF OUR SEASON!" Moe yelled at Calvin in the locker room.

"WELL LOOK WHO'S TALKING! MAYBE I SHOULD'VE DONE MY BETTER STRATEGY OF BENCHING WHENEVER SOMEONE MISSED A SHOT! WE WOULD'VE WON FOR SURE THEN!" Calvin shot back.

"YOU ARE THE WORST COACH EVER!" Moe shot back.

The other players yelled out in agreement.

"OH SHUT UP! YOU GUYS WILL ALL END UP WORKING A DEAD-END JOB AT MCDONALD'S ANYWAY! SO WHO CARES?!" Calvin shot back.

This was the breaking point, as the entire team went after Calvin and fought with him for a good ten minutes before they calmed down and left.

Calvin grumbled.

"I mean, at least you tried..." Hobbes said trying to comfort him.

"They're all idiots. Remind me to put them on my enemy list for G.R.O.S.S. Even though they aren't girls, I'll make an exception for them." Calvin replied.

"I mean, there is a chance. hey could find an ineligible player and they could get disqualified." Hobbes said hopefully.

"True, but I doubt that would happen..." Calvin said sighing as the two left.

 ** _Two Days Later..._**

The Athletic Director was busy working in his office when he got a call.

"Hello... Ah Mr. Commissioner... Ineligible player? Mhm... Really? That's great! Thank you so much!"

The Athletic Director ran to tell Principal Spittle the good news.

"They found out that one of the kids from the Veterans was a 6th Grader that was really small for his age. So we're advancing to the next round!" The Athletic Director said excitedly.

"Wow! I would've never expected that! Lets tell the players the good news!" Principal Spittle said.

The team was thrilled to hear the news when they got to Principal Spittle's Office.

"HA! THIS TIME, I PROMISE I WON'T FAIL YOU GUYS! THIS TIME, I WILL REIGN SUPREME! AND WE WILL WIN IT ALL!" Calvin yelled out. Everyone stared at him.

"I'm glad you're excited Calvin, but try not to embarrass us like you did when you stripped down to your underwear..." Principal Spittle said wearily.

"That ref was an idiot. Now be ready for practice suckers!" Calvin said as he left the office, everyone there sighed.

And so, Calvin actually started using actual drills to get the team better, with some success. And that success was correlating onto the court at the games, and the Bobcats won all their games in the playoffs, and managed to reach the finals.

"Alright, so if you've watched any of those inspirational sports movies, you would know that the coach is supposed to give some inspirational speech before the championship game or whatever... But who cares about that feel-good story baloney? I sure don't! Its simple! All we need to do is do what we've been doing for the last couple of games that we've won, and we'll win!" Calvin said.

"But we're playing the Jim Davis Fatcats! They haven't lost a game in three years! Plus they got A.J. Robinson!" One player said.

"A.J?! Gosh I hate that kid. I wish he was in jail, along with Moe..." Calvin grumbled.

"What?" Moe said upon realizing he heard his name.

"Oh nothing! SO LETS WIN THIS THING!" Calvin yelled as he bolted out of the locker room.

"Welcome everyone to the City Championship game! We got a good game for you tonight. With two teams from Chagrin Falls, Ohio! We have the Bill Watterson Elementary School Bobcats going against the 3-time defending City Champs, the Jim Davis Elementary School Fatcats!" The Announcer boomed as the teams entered the court.

"I need to figure out how to get A.J. out of the game, and fast..." Calvin mumbled to himself.

"Well! I didn't think I'd see you again! You coaching I take it?" A.J. said as he came up to Calvin.

"Indeed I am you moron! And this time, Moe can't help you! Because he's on MY TEAM! And you're going to have to go through my epic squad if you want to have the prayer of winning!" Calvin shot back.

"We'll see. Good luck, you're gonna need it!" A.J. said as he left, and gave a fist bump to Moe before taking his place.

And so, a physical contest was played. Both teams were striving hard for victory. Then came the final minute of the game. The Bobcats were up by one. Calvin called a time out.

"Alright! I think the one thing we need right now in order to have a better shot at victory is if we get A.J. out of the game! I don't care what you do to him! Break his arm, neck, leg, I don't care! Actually kill him if you have to!" Calvin said.

"You know he has four fouls right?" Hobbes said popping in.

"So?"

"If he gets one more, he can't play for the rest of the game." Hobbes explained.

"Oh! Well in that case, forget what I said! Just foul him or whatever!" Calvin said. The team nodded, and went back out.

The clock ticked to under a minute left, Moe got the ball, and tried to shoot, with A.J. blocking, the shot missed and Moe went to the ground.

"Foul on Number 21. Bobcats." The Referee said.

"OH COME ON! THIS IS RIG-"

"I think Moe's hurt!" A player said.

"What?" Calvin said as he noticed A.J. was helping Moe to the bench.

"What happened?" Calvin asked.

"Ugh, I hurt my back twinky, I can't go back in." Moe said grumbling.

Calvin sighed, "Well, I didn't think it would come to this, but I guess it has..." Calvin said as he took of his shirt, to reveal he was wearing the Bobcats Jersey Number 85.

"What the?!" Moe said in surprise.

"Well this got weird fast..." Hobbes remarked.

"I put myself on the roster in case I needed to be the team's savior, and looks like that time is now!" Calvin said as he entered the game. People gasped, as the last thing they expected was for a six-year old interim coach to put himself in the game.

"We're gonna lose..." Moe sighed.

Meanwhile, Principal Spittle, the Athletic Director, and the Commissioner were watching the game together.

"Looks like I'm going to have to make a rule on coaches playing in games now..." The Commissioner chuckled. The Athletic Director laughed at this, while Principal Spittle sighed and said, "Where's Sister Jean when you need her?"

So the Fatcats had two free throws, which they made both, to make the score 34-35 in their favor. Calvin's team got the ball, and the clock was ticking under twenty seconds.

"Pass it here!" Calvin yelled as one of the players passed the ball to him.

Calvin approached half court, 15 seconds now. Calvin's mind was racing with options. A.J. was guarding him.

"Looks like we're gonna win again at this rate!" A.J. taunted at Calvin as the clock ticked under ten seconds.

But then, Calvin threw the ball as high as he could, and it was heading toward the basket.

Calvin bolted past A.J., who was coming fast and got ahead of him at the free throw line. Under five second left.

Calvin then literally JUMPED on A.J. and went OVER him! He grabbed the ball, and sent it on a crash course to the basket, and right went the clock hit zero, Calvin slammed the ball into the net, wining the game for the Bobcats.

The Bobcats ran out and surrounded Calvin.

"WE WON!"

"YOU DID IT!"

"YOU ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING GOOD FOR ONCE TWINKY!"

Principal Spittle and the Athletic Director were hugging each other in joy.

"I don't think I've ever seen you this happy before Sam." The Commissioner chuckled.

"This is was happens when you're the Principal of the same school for decades." Principal Spittle replied.

"YES! I WON! WHOO! NOW WHERE'S MY ONE SHINING MOMENT MUSIC THAT I DESERVE?!" Calvin yelled out triumphantly.

A few minutes later, the Commissioner walked out with the championship trophy.

"Now, I would like to congratulate the Bill Watterson Elementary School Bobcats on winning their first city championship in over a decade! And I'd like to present the David Stern trophy to the player-coach, Calvin!" The Commissioner said as he handed Calvin the trophy.

"WHOOOOOO! CHAMPIONS BABY! YEAH! So where's my money?" Calvin said to Principal Spittle and the Athletic Director.

"Er... well you see Calvin..." Principal Spittle began.

"Coaching is mainly a volunteer job, which is done without pay." The Athletic Director explained.

"What?! You mean after all I've been through, I'm not gonna get paid a single penny?!" Calvin said in shock.

"I believe so." he Commissioner added.

"WHAT?! You know what? I'm keeping the trophy, and I'll make a quick 300 bucks selling this off eBay! I'm going to go home and put up for auction right now! As well as call ESPN and demand that they give me my own 30 for 30!" Calvin said as he bolted out of the gym with the trophy, with everyone chasing him, except Hobbes, who was the only won left in the gym.

"Well, March Madness certainly does cause madness I guess." Hobbes chuckled as he found an uneaten sandwich in the stands and began to eat it.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin/Players: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes/A.J.: Owen Wilson**

 **Mom: Scarlett Johansson**

 **Dad/Players: Paul Rudd**

 **Moe/Referee 3: Jeremy Irons**

 **Principal Spittle/Referee 2: Tom Cruise**

 _ **Special Guest Stars:**_

 _ **The Athletic Director: Dwayne Johnson**_

 _ **The Commissioner: Bill Hader**_

 _ **The Referee: Tom Holland**_

* * *

 **Next Episode: 19A: TBD (Still figuring out which episode I'm going to do for the next one)**


	5. 19A: Calvin World

_**Calvin World-**_ **Written by NMMacc18 and JaJaLoo**

* * *

 **Plot: Calvin opens his own theme park, with disastrous results**

* * *

One night, Calvin's Dad was reading the newspaper, when Calvin came up to him.

"Dad, how come Disney Theme Parks use the term 'Happiest Place on Earth' when there's always unhappy stuff you have to deal with?" Calvin asked.

"Because all these big companies will do anything to steal tens of thousands of dollars from families." Dad replied.

"I'm not great at math, but I'm pretty sure Disney doesn't charge you over ten grand just to get into one of their parks." Calvin remarked.

"You would be surprised to see what kind of stuff theme parks pull these days." Dad replied.

Later, Calvin was drawing at his desk, while Hobbes was reading a comic book.

"Are you drawing one of your "Dinosaurs in Rockets" drawings again?" Hobbes asked to Calvin.

"Nope, I'm drawing a blueprint for my theme park." Calvin responded.

"Your what?" Hobbes said confused.

"I present to you, Calvin World!" Calvin said as he showed his blueprint to Hobbes, "The greatest place in the universe! With lots of anger and frustration as well due to stuff you have to deal at regular theme parks!" Calvin said proudly.

"I think you need to work on your slogan." Hobbes remarked.

"What?! Its the truth!" Calvin shot back.

"These rides seem pretty stupid as well... Even dangerous..." Hobbes said looking at Calvin's blueprint.

"WHAT?! There's nothing wrong with this!" Calvin said in his defense.

"So there's nothing wrong with a ride called "Lava Volcano Ride of Doom" featuring real Lava and Volcano eruptions... You'll get your pants sued off!" Hobbes remarked.

"Nah, I'll make it so its impossible to sue me, then I'l be the one raking in the dough!" Calvin said confidently.

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"And where do you think your even going to put this 'Amusement Park'?" Hobbes asked.

"Well, I was thinking of putting it in the backyard..." Calvin said.

"There's no way a full fledged amusement park you want to make will all fit in your backyard." Hobbes remarked.

"Well I guess your right... If I want to make any money at all..." Calvin agreed.

"So where would we put it?" Hobbes asked.

"I don't know yet. I need to get all the rides first though." Calvin said as he went into his closet.

"Where are you going to get rides from?" Hobbes asked.

"Simple, we're going to use the box to fly to abandoned amusement parks, or amusement parks that are still open, take whatever we can get with my new invention I've been working on, then I can restore them back to its former glory!" Calvin explained as he pulled out the box.

"Oh well, have fun." Hobbes said as he started to leave.

"Oh no you don't! You're coming with me!" Calvin said stopping Hobbes.

"What?! Why do I have to go?!" Hobbes protested.

"Because you need to help me, a six-year-old can't do menial labor by himself you know. Besides, the box will be in airplane mode! So there's nothing to whine about!" Calvin said in his defense.

"Well, if its just flying, then I'm okay with it, I guess..." Hobbes said.

"Good, now hop in." Calvin said as he got in the box.

Hobbes sighed and followed suit.

"Well Hobbes, off we go-oo!" Calvin said as he pressed a button and the two flew off.

"So where are we going first?" Hobbes asked.

"Uh... Good question..." Calvin replied.

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

Eventually, Calvin and Hobbes landed at Coney Island.

"Alright. Our first ride to steal is the Wonder Wheel." Calvin said observing it.

"Isn't that forgery?" Hobbes asked.

"No, I'll rename it the Calvin Wheel.' Calvin explained.

"How original. Now how are we going to get it home?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin pulled out his new invention, the Blastcube and sucked the Wonder Wheel inside.

"Next, we'll take the Cyclone roller coaster, and rename it the Calvinclone." Calvin said as he used the Blastcube to suck the Cyclone in.

"Are you going to name all the rides after you?" Hobbes asked as they got in the box and flew off.

"Well yeah, it is named Calvin World for a reason right?" Calvin replied. Hobbes sighed.

They then landed at Riverside in Colorado.

"What are we going to get from here?" Hobbes asked.

"I don't know, be useful and try and help me find something good." Calvin said.

"I'm pretty sure our definitions of 'good' are going to be different..." Hobbes remarked.

"Shut up and help me look." Calvin said not caring for Hobbes' comment and they searched around.

The two eventually stopped at the ride "Wild Chipmunk".

"Great! We'll take this!" Calvin said as he used the Blastcube to suck it in.

And so, this went on for a few hours, with Calvin sucking multiple rides into the Blastcube, before going home for the day.

"So have you figured out where the park is going to be yet?" Hobbes asked later that night while he and Calvin were in bed.

"Yeah, I saw this large plot of open land near my school, so I figured we'd use that." Calvin responded.

"So when are we going to start construction?" Hobbes asked.

"First thing tomorrow! I want to get this park open ASAP!" Calvin said proudly, Hobbes groaned.

The next day, as promised, Calvin and Hobbes left early to start construction.

"Just once I'd like to see him be like this on a school day." Calvin's Mom said sighing as he watched Calvin and Hobbes leaving.

After Calvin and Hobbes got to the land, Calvin let out all the rides he got from the Blastcube all around the land, then made an entire duplicate workforce with hundreds of duplicates. Calvin grabbed a megaphone to give instructions to the duplicates.

"ALRIGHT! WELCOME TO THE GROUND BREAKING OF CALVIN WORLD!" Calvin yelled out, the duplicates cheered.

"SO I GOT SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS FOR ALL OF YOU! JUST MAKE SURE ALL THE RIDES WILL WORK AND STUFF, AND BUILD SOME PLACES TO EAT FOOD AND STUFF! AS WELL AS SOME BATHROOMS AND WE'LL BE GOOD TO GO!" Calvin yelled out.

The duplicates cheered and set off to work, doing everything Calvin wanted.

A couple was watching TV, a commercial came on.

"Are you tired of your boring life?" Calvin asked on the TV.

"Yes." The Woman said.

"Do you wish for some excitement in your life?"

"Yes." The Woman said again.

"If so, check out CALVIN WORLD! The greatest theme park since Disneyland opened in 1955!"

"Wow! Cool! Bill, there's an ad for Calvin World, let's go!" The Woman said to her husband, only to see that he was asleep. She groaned.

To Calvin's delight, and Hobbes' surprise, about a hundred thousand people showed up for the Grand Opening of Calvin World.

"I'm surprised that this many people showed up." Hobbes remarked as he and Calvin walked toward the front of the park to do the ribbon cutting.

"That's because I'm a genius in marketing tactics." Calvin responded, Hobbes rolled his eyes.

They got to the front, everyone was anxiously awaiting to get in.

"ICKY GIRLS AND GENTLEMEN! CALVIN WORLD IS NOW OPEN FOR BUSINESS!" Calvin yelled out as he cut the ribbon to open the park, and everyone filed in.

However, people were quite taken aback by the entry fee.

A family walked up to the front gates to get tickets.

"Hello, welcome to Calvin World. How many tickets, please?" The Duplicate Vendor asked.

"Two adults and two kids, please." The Man said.

"OK, that'll be two hundred and fifty dollars." The Duplicate Vendor said.

"WHAT?! That's highway robbery!" The Man protested.

"Sorry sir, its the price my boss set." The Duplicate Vendor replied.

The Man grumbled as he swiped his credit card and entered the park.

Meanwhile, Calvin and Hobbes were watching from Calvin's giant office inside a giant statue of him.

"Wow. What a great turnout today!" Calvin said impressed.

"I'm surprised people even came despite the ridiculously high price to get in." Hobbes remarked.

"Oh shut up, Chagrin Falls needs a theme park! So they don't have to trek to any other lame ones!" Calvin shot back.

"I figured they'd just go to Cedar Point." Hobbes replied.

"I mean yeah, they could. But they need a GOOD theme park for all to enjoy! Along with going through other theme park struggles of course." Calvin said confidently.

"Right..." Hobbes said rolling his eyes.

Then, a Duplicate Worker came in.

"Here's the $1.6 Million we've made so far boss." The Duplicate Worker said as he gave Calvin a couple bags of money and left.

"Hot DOG! I'm RICH! FILTHY STINKIN' RICH!" Calvin said as he dumped the money out and started making an angel in it.

"Hey, you better share some of that with me to." Hobbes remarked.

"Fine... But there'll be more money for you, we've only been open for a couple of hours and I've gotten so much cash money! I should've thought of this years ago! Nothing could possibly go wrong!" Calvin said confidently.

"I doubt it..." Hobbes remarked.

Meanwhile, people were getting on the Calvin Carousel. It started and went dangerously fast, and people started getting flung on it due to its speed.

I mean, what did you expect from a thrill seeker like Calvin?

"OW! WHAT THE HECK?! LET'S GET OUTTA HERE! THIS PLACE IS A SAFETY HAZARD!" A person yelled out as he led a group of angry people leaving the park.

"Hey, looks like some of your customers are leaving." Hobbes pointed out as he saw a bunch of people heading to the exit from the window.

"WHAT?" Calvin said in shock as he looked out the window, and grabbed an intercom and yelled out, "HEY! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?"

"HOME!" The angry group of people yelled out.

"NONSENSE! YOU'LL STAY HERE, AND YOU'LL LIKE IT!" Calvin yelled back on the intercom.

"THEN WE'LL CALL THE COPS!" The angry group of people shot back.

"OKAY FINE! HAVE IT YOUR WAY!" Calvin grumbled.

And so, this kept happening throughout the day, with people getting injured or sick from the hazards of Calvin's rides. Some demanded refunds, but of course, there were no refunds at Calvin World, because Calvin refuses to lose any money.

At the end of the day, Calvin and Hobbes were getting ready to leave, when the phone in Calvin's office rang.

"Hello? Yeah this is him... Oh, I have to? Okay. Tomorrow is fine with me." Calvin said in the brief conversation on the phone before hanging up.

"Who was that?" Hobbes asked.

"Some inspector guy. I have to close the park for tomorrow because they need to inspect it to ensure everything is safe and that so I can continue to keep the place running." Calvin explained.

"Oh well, it was fun while it lasted..." Hobbes remarked.

"Oh shut up, I'll pass the inspection with flying colors!" Calvin said confidently. Hobbes rolled his eyes.

 _ **The Next Day...**_

"Hello Mr. Calvin, I'm the Inspector that called. I need to inspect all the rides to ensure that this place is safe to the public." The Inspector said.

"Don't worry sir! Everything here will be perfectly fine I guarantee you!" Calvin said confidently. Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"OK..." The Inspector said suspicious.

So the three went throughout the park, and the Inspector was finding issues with every ride. Some of them were minor that could easily be fixed, while others (or most of them) were major safety violations, making Calvin annoyed nonetheless, insisting that nothing was wrong with them and the park was safe. Soon, they reached the Wonder Wheel.

"Ah, the Wonder Wheel, I inspected this before. It looks safe." The Inspector said as he inspected it.

"Oh, yeah." Calvin said as he secretly pressed a button to disband the Wonder Wheel and rolled down a track.

"WHAT IS THIS?!" The Inspector said in shock.

"The Calvin Wheel." Calvin replied.

"I believe that ride is now a safety violation." The Inspector said as he scribbled some notes on his clipboard.

"Oh come on! My rides are totally safe! Check out The Calvinado! One of the safest roller coasters in town!" Calvin said annoyed as he directed the Inspector to another ride.

"Really?" The Inspector said curiously.

"Yeah. Let's operate it." Calvin said as he started up the ride.

The roller coaster started up and went extremely fast. It then went over a hill with a gap and crashed, causing the ride to collapse.

"My gosh, this park is a safety violation!" The Inspector exclaimed as he scribbled notes down on his clipboard.

"Oh, come on. How about the Calvin Carousel? I put some test dummies there to test how safe it is." Calvin said as he started up the Carousel.

The Calvin Carousel went extremely fast, and all the test dummies flew off, and one of them hit the Inspector.

"OW! That's it! This park is a danger to society! This Calvin World is now being shut down PERMANENTLY!" The Inspector said furiously as he scribbled notes down on his clipboard.

"SHUT UP YOU MORON! THIS PARK IS PERFECTLY SAFE!" Calvin said in fury as he grabbed the cotton candy machine and hurled it at the Inspector.

And just for that, I'm fining you with all the money you've made as well!" The Inspector shot back.

"WHAT?! I EARNED ALL THAT MONEY FAIR AND SQUARE! YOU'RE A BAD MAN! A BAD, BAD, MAN!" Calvin screamed as he had to be restrained by Hobbes from attacking the Inspector.

Calvin and Hobbes watched from afar as Calvin World was demolished by a construction crew.

"Well, it was fun while it lasted. I guess..." Hobbes remarked.

"Pah! I shouldn't of even bothered! Now all my hard work has gone to waste because of the idiots in our society..." Calvin grumbled.

"'Hard work'?" Hobbes asked sarcastically.

"Oh well, I guess I've learned a lesson from all this." Calvin remarked.

"That 6-year olds aren't capable of running theme parks?" Hobbes suggested.

"Oh please, my park lasted far longer than what some other 6-year old could do." Calvin shot back.

"So what did you learn?" Hobbes asked.

"That I should've gone into business with someone else. I present to you... Disney Island!" Calvin said as he showed Hobbes a blueprint, "Come on! Lets head down to the Disney HQ right now! Lets get a contract in the works!" Calvin said excitedly as he ran off, Hobbes sighed.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin/Duplicates/Inspector: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes/People: Owen Wilson**

 **Dad/Man: Paul Rudd**

 **Mom/Woman: Scarlett Johansson**

* * *

 **Next Episode: 19B-Cheaters Sometimes Prosper: Calvin manages to cheat on a standarized test without getting caught and winds up getting promoted to the 6th Grade.**


	6. 19B: Cheaters Sometimes Prosper

**Sorry for taking so long again to get an episode out. I've been busy. Episodes will start being published at a more frequent rate once summer comes. But until then, expect episodes every couple of weeks probably, or maybe not, just depends on my schedule.**

* * *

 _ **Cheaters Sometimes Prosper-**_ **Written by NMMacc18**

* * *

 **Plot: Calvin manages to cheat on a standardized test without getting caught and winds up getting promoted to the 6th Grade.**

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes stood at the bus stop, waiting for bus.

Calvin wasn't in the greatest of moods, because, you know, he has to go to school.

"This stinks. I'm sick and tired of going to school, and stinks even more that I got to do this for 11 more years after I finish first grade..." Calvin grumbled.

"Well, add on another 4 years for college, and then another 6 to 8 years if you want to become a doctor or a lawyer." Hobbes remarked.

"Oh shut up. No way I'm going to college. I just need to figure out to way to not have to go in school in general. I oughta petition to make it illegal to go to school!" Calvin said.

"Good luck with that..." Hobbes said rolling his eyes.

Then, the bus pulled up.

"Have a good day. I'll be sure to give you an extra special greeting when you get home!" Hobbes grinned as Calvin got on.

Calvin grumbled and sat down in a seat, Susie sat in the seat behind him.

"Ready for the test today Calvin?" Susie asked.

"TEST?! WHAT TEST?! NOBODY TOLD ME WE HAD A TEST!" Calvin said freaking out.

"I should've re-worded that... Ready for the Standardized Test today?" Susie said rolling her eyes at Calvin not remembering anything.

"Eh, I guess it isn't too bad since it won't hurt my grades at all, but still nobody told me about it." Calvin replied.

"Do you ever pay attention to what Miss Wormwood says at ALL?" Susie asked.

"No! How is this useless baloney going to help us if we're all going to die sooner or later?!" Calvin shot back.

Susie sighed, knowing it wasn't worth arguing with Calvin.

 **. . .**

"Alright class, as I've said for the past couple of days, we're taking a Standardized Test today." Miss Wormwood said as she passed the scantrons around.

"This is stupid! Why on earth do we have to take this dumb test?" Calvin said annoyed.

"Its just for the makers of the test to see how you're performance is. Do really well and maybe you'll get moved up a grade or two. Do bad and they might have you go back a grade." Miss Wormwood replied.

"Isn't that up for Mr. Spittle to decide though?" Calvin asked confused.

"Standardized Testing has a bigger say than we do in situations..." Miss Wormwood said sighing as she passed out some pencils and whiteout.

"I think you guys need to man up instead." Calvin replied. Miss Wormwood ignored Calvin's remark.

"Alright, you have until 11:30 to complete this. Be sure to fill in the bubble completely. If you decide to change an answer, simply use the whiteout provided to block out your previous answer so the machine doesn't make a mistake. Begin." Miss Wormwood said as she began testing.

Calvin tried to copy of Susie, but she kept her answers hidden, much to Calvin's annoyance. So Calvin grumbled as he guessed for most of the answers.

"This is hopeless... I'll get flunked down back to Kindergarten with-wait... that's it!" Calvin thought to himself as an evil grin developed over his face. He remembered reading how whiteout could be placed over the markers and they would automatically be marked correct due to the machine be confused. Calvin quickly covered all the markers with whiteout, with nobody noticing, just as Miss Wormwood called time.

"So how do you think you did Calvin?" Susie asked as they were walking down to lunch.

"I got a hundred percent, guaranteed!" Calvin said as he laughed manically. Susie rolled her eyes, Calvin was the last person she'd expect to good on a Standardized Test, and Calvin just did bad in school in general, so she assumed Calvin was just being Calvin.

Boy, she was in for a big surprise.

 _ **Two Weeks Later...**_

Principal Spittle was busy working, when he heard a knock on his office door.

"Come in." Principal Spittle said as a man in a suit came in with a file.

"Hello Mr. Spittle, I'm a representative from the Standardized Test your school took two weeks ago, and they've decided to move one of your students up a few grades." The man said.

"Well that's good to hear! Who is it, and what grade?" Principal Spittle said curiously.

"It was... Calvin: Boy of Destiny from the first grade. He got a perfect score on the test, and we've decided to move him up to the 6th grade!" The man said impressed.

Principal Spittle was dumbfounded. How on earth could a kid like Calvin, the biggest troublemaker the school has ever seen, and makes Dennis the Menace look like a saint, get a perfect score on a Standardized Test? Not to mention he also had the worst grades of anyone in the entire school. He stared at the man in shock.

"Are you alright?" The man asked concerned.

"Oh, sorry. Just a little surprised that's all." Principal Spittle said re-focusing.

"Yeah, your Superintendent also had a similar reaction." The man said chuckling.

"I could imagine..." Principal Spittle mumbled.

Then, Calvin came in.

"What a coincidence! You saved us the trouble!" The man said excited as he noticed Calvin had come in.

"What's going on? I'm only here because I threw some chalk at Susie since she was questioning my brilliance." Calvin said, unsure what was going on.

The man laughed, Principal Spittle sighed.

"Well Calvin, out of everyone who took the Standardized Test a few weeks ago, you were the only one to get a perfect score!" The man said impressed.

"Wow! Really? That's pretty cool!" Calvin said, trying to act surprised.

"So, in light of your achievement, tomorrow, you will be a sixth grader a Lee Unkrich Middle School!" The man said proudly.

Calvin's eyes widened. This wasn't something he expected to happen, but he realized that he could get done with school even quicker now. Cutting five years off isn't that bad huh?

"Awesome! Anything to get out of this dump! So long Spitty! It hasn't been a pleasure!" Calvin said as he walked out and grabbed the file from the man. He then ran down to Miss Wormwood's classroom, and bust open the door.

"Attention fellow classmates, well I should say EX-classmates! Why you may ask? Because I've been promoted to the sixth grade!" Calvin announced triumphantly as he waved a paper in the air saying that he was going to the sixth grade.

The whole class gasped, and Miss Wormwood fainted from shock.

"So I just came in to tell you farewell, and how it hasn't been a pleasure to be your classmate, and now I'll go on to be more successful than you guys. Good day!" Calvin said as he left and slammed the door shut.

At this point, Miss Wormwood had recovered. After a few moments of taking all the information in, she went into her desk, and grabbed a bottle of unopened champagne.

"How long have you had that for Miss Wormwood?" Susie asked.

"Since Calvin first became my student... I've waited years for this..." Miss Wormwood said excitedly as she shook the bottle up, and sprayed all over the classroom, as everyone cheered, now that they no longer had to deal with Calvin.

 _ **The next day...**_

Calvin and Hobbes were waiting at the bus stop. Calvin was grumbling.

"This stinks. Now I have to get up even earlier to wait for a different bus! What kind of country do I live in?! I should be able to sleep in later!" Calvin said annoyed.

"Well, at least you get away from everyone you hate now right?" Hobbes asked.

"Yeah. But now I'll probably make a bunch of new enemies at this new school I'm going to. But who cares? I'll have a new onslaught of pranks to pull on them!" Calvin replied. Hobbes sighed.

Then, the bus pulled up.

"Have a good day at school. Don't burn the place down." Hobbes said as Calvin got on.

"Relax Hobbes, its not like I've come close to destroying an entire school before." Calvin responded.

"Did you forget about the Noodle Incident?"

"I WAS FRAMED!" Calvin yelled as the bus doors shut and the bus drove off. Hobbes sighed.

Eventually, the bus reached the school, and Calvin got out. He noticed that it was much bigger than his old school, but he figured it wouldn't be a problem, and trotted in.

He found himself trying to get through the jammed hallway.

"Sheesh, I thought the hallways at my old school were jammed, but this is like ten times worse! This is like Downtown Tokyo!" Calvin said annoyed.

Then, the bell rang, and the students began rushing to their classes, and were pretty much trampling Calvin.

"ARGH! HEY! I'M TRYING TO FIND MY CLASS TO YOU KNOW! SLOW DOWN! ACK! OW!" Calvin yelled as he got bounced around the hallway.

By the time Calvin could get up, the hallway had cleared out, and found himself near a classroom. He grabbed out his schedule that he had gotten yesterday, to see if he was in the right place.

"Lets see, Pre-Algebra... Room 181. Looks like getting bounced around in Downtown Tokyo actually helped..." Calvin grumbled as he went into the classroom, and took a seat at an empty desk. Some of the other kids took notice, and started asking Calvin questions.

"Aren't you that kid that got a perfect score on that Standardized Test?"

"Are you some super genius?"

"Do you know EVERYTHING?"

"I don't even know you freaks. So buzz off." Calvin grumbled. The kids walked to their seats as the bell rang, and the teacher came in.

"Alright, good morning class. Before we start today, we have a new student joining us. He's only six, but he had a perfect score on a Standardized Test he took. So is there a Calvin the Bold in here?" The teacher asked.

"That would be me." Calvin said standing up.

"Is your name actually Calvin the Bold?" The teacher asked interested.

"No. But if my parents let me choose my last name, that's what it would be!" Calvin said proudly.

"That's interesting. I'm Mr. Cruise, and as you can tell, I teach Pre-Algebra. Do you like math?" Mr. Cruise asked.

"No! Math is the most pointless thing ever! Heck, all of school is pointless! Why do we have to go to school for 12 years when we're all gonna die eventually?!" Calvin ranted.

"Uh... Okay then... Alright class, we're going to continue our lesson on distributing. Calvin, why don't you tell me what 4(7+9) is?" Mr. Cruise began.

"Uh... 47 plus 49?" Calvin guessed. The class erupted in laughter, while Calvin grumbled, "I haven't been here for ten minutes and I already hate it."

After that humiliating incident, and once class ended, Calvin got back out into the hall, only to be jammed yet again and bounced around. The bell rang, and Calvin found himself as the only one in the hallway.

"They should've named this school after Downtown Tokyo..." Calvin grumbled as he entered the English classroom.

"You're late!" The teacher said as soon as Calvin walked in.

"So? Its my first day!" Calvin replied.

"Don't give me that kind of sass!" The teacher snapped.

"I didn't say anything! You can't cut me some slack considering its my first day here?! Some teacher!" Calvin shot back.

"Enough with this insolence and go get a tardy slip!" The teacher retorted.

"Oh come on lady! Then I would be even later! You're such a hypocrite! How the heck are you even a teacher here!" Calvin yelled back.

"THAT'S IT! REPORT TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE NOW!" The teacher screamed.

"WHAT?! WHY SHOULD I?! YOU'RE THE ONE BEING A HYPOCRITICAL COMMUNIST!" Calvin yelled back.

The teacher, in fury, dragged Calvin all the way down to the Principal's Office and busted in.

The Principal sighed, "What now Ms. Hahn?"

"This student is being very disrespectful! First he came in length, then he started back-sassing me!" Ms. Hahn said.

"You're an idiot! Its my first day here!" Calvin said in his defense.

The Principal sighed, "Look Calvin, I know its your first day here, but Ms. Hahn has very high expectations you see." The Principal began.

"Oh, so you're taking HER side aren't you! Figures since you're probably as bad as my own Principal!" Calvin said annoyed.

"Actually Calvin, I've won Middle School Principal of the year three times. But anyway, I'll let you off with a warning this time, considering its your first day." The Principal said.

"But Principal Sandler! This kid should be suspended!" Ms. Hahn retorted.

"SUSPENDED?! YOU OUGHTA BE FIRED!" Calvin said enraged.

So Calvin and Ms. Hahn started arguing again, and Principal Sandler got tired of it and pushed them out of his office. He went back and sat down in his chair, when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Sandler! Glad you picked up! I'm going to be visiting the school today for a little bit!" The Superintendent said. Principal Sandler groaned.

 _ **A few hours later...**_

Finally, Calvin made it to lunch.

"I don't think I've ever been happier to get to lunch." Calvin said as he got his food in the cafeteria and went to find a seat, before accidentally tripping, and bumping into a bigger kid.

The kid turned around almost instantaneously.

"What's the big idea shrimp?" The kid asked.

"I tripped! Not my fault!" Calvin shot back.

"Listen shrimp, don't do that again... or else we're going to have some problems..." The kid said cracking his knuckles.

Then, a grin came over Calvin's face. He had a brilliant idea.

He threw his tray with all the food on it at the kid, and screamed out, "FOOD FIGHT!".

And as you would expect, the cafeteria went into total anarchy, with food being thrown all over the place.

Meanwhile, Principal Sandler was giving a tour of the school to the Superintendent.

"Well Sandler, your school is looking alright as always. Mind if we look at the cafeteria?" The Superintendent asked.

"Sure thing! Our cafeteria is always-"

Principal Sandler stopped mid-sentence, as when he opened the door, the cafeteria was a total war zone.

Calvin was wrestling with the kid he had tripped into earlier when the Superintendent walked up and glared down at him.

"I didn't start it! He did it!" Calvin said in his defense.

 **. . .**

Principal Spittle was busy working in his office, with the Superintendent busted in with Calvin.

 _ **SPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTLLLLLEEEEEEEEE!**_

"Calvin already got kicked out?" Principal Spittle asked sighing.

"Yes! He caused absolute anarchy in the cafeteria, fought a kid, and a bunch of other things I can't think of right now because I'm so angry! Not to mention I got a call saying that the kid CHEATED on that Standardized Test!" The Superintendent said furiously.

"How so?" Principal Spittle asked confused.

"Apparently, he used some whiteout to confuse the scan tron! Now I got ANOTHER mess to deal with!" The Superintendent raged as he stormed off.

"Just go back to class Calvin..." Principal Spittle said groaning as Calvin left.

"...and so, Franklin Roosevelt's 'New Deal' helped creat-"

The door opened, and much to everyone's shock, it was Calvin.

"Calvin?! I thought you got promoted to the 6th grade!" Miss Wormwood said in shock.

"I was. But that school stinks. I got expelled for no good reason! I'm always stuck at these schools that are such garbage!" Calvin complained as he went back to his seat.

Miss Wormwood sighed, "Five more years until retirement... Five more years until retirement..."

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin/Kids: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes/Man/Kids: Owen Wilson**

 **Susie: Jennifer Lawrence**

 **Miss Wormwood/Ms. Hahn: Kathryn Hahn**

 **Principal Spittle/Mr. Cruise: Tom Cruise**

 _ **Special Guest Stars:**_

 _ **The Superintendent: Dennis Quaid**_

 _ **Principal Sandler: Adam Sandler**_

* * *

 **Next Episode: 20A-The Boy Who Failed at Flying: Calvin attempts to learn to fly, with disastorous results.**


	7. 20A: The Boy Who Failed at Flying

_**The Boy Who Failed at Flying-**_ **Written by NMMacc18 and JaJaLoo**

* * *

 **Plot:** **Calvin attempts to learn to fly, with disastrous results.**

* * *

One day, Calvin was at the edge of a cliff, looking onward, wearing his Stupendous Man costume.

"What are you doing?" Hobbes asked as he walked up to Calvin.

Calvin, paying no attention, yelled out, "Stupendous Man sees the cry for help, and he makes the mad dash and takes off!" as he ran off the cliff.

And then proceeded to fall.

"AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!" Calvin yelled out as he fell to the ground.

"I knew that wouldn't work..." Hobbes muttered to himself

"Hobbes, do me a favor and get me some plastic bird wings while I climb out would ya?" Calvin yelled up to Hobbes.

"Why?"

"I'm trying to become the first human to fly, duh."

Because that's such a great idea..." Hobbes grumbled as he went to grab the plastic bird wings.

A few minutes later, once Calvin had gotten back up to the top of the cliff, Hobbes came with the plastic bird wings and taped them on Calvin.

"Alright. Here we go!" Calvin said as he got a running start and jumped off the cliff.

Take a guess what happened.

"AAAUUUGGGHHH!" Calvin yelled as he crashed down to the bottom.

"That didn't work." Hobbes remarked as Calvin climbed up.

"Ya think?" Calvin said annoyed as they went back home.

About a half hour later, Calvin came out of the house with the wagon, with cardboard wings attached to it.

"This time, I'm going to the top of the highest mountain in the forest that has a cliff. Also known as, Perishable Mountain!" Calvin announced excitedly.

"You're going _there_?" Hobbes said shocked.

"Of course, you furball."

"Your going to get yourself killed you know."

"Oh please, I'm indestructible! Nothing will ever happen to Calvin the Bold! He always prevails!"

"Yeah right..."

"WHAT?!"

"Uh... I said, Good Luck." Hobbes said quickly.

"Thank you..." Calvin said annoyed as he left.

Later, Hobbes was resting by a tree, when he heard a loud scream by Calvin.

Calvin came back with sticks in his hair, and was also covered with dirt.

"I knew it..." Hobbes remarked.

"Shut up, hairball." Calvin grumbled as he went inside.

 _ **The next day...**_

Calvin and Hobbes were walking through the park, when Calvin stopped suddenly, after noticing a balloon stand.

"You see that balloon stand, Hobbes?"

"Uh, yes?" Hobbes said nervously.

"I need you to steal all balloons from there, and then I'll be like Curious George and fly through the city with the balloons." Calvin explained.

"That's a dumb idea." Hobbes remarked.

"Do it or else you'll be demoted to Club Swabber 3rd Class."

"Fine..." Hobbes grumbled.

Hobbes sneaked over to the balloon stand, and used his switchblade to cut the balloons away, and quickly ran away. The balloon vendor turned around and was shocked to find all the balloons missing.

Hobbes ran to Calvin, who had climbed to the top of a statue of Chagrin Falls' founder, and tied the balloons onto Calvin.

"Good luck." Hobbes said as he began to climb down.

"Oh no you don't! You're coming with me!" Calvin said grabbing Hobbes.

Calvin then jumped and they were flying through the city with the balloons.

"Wow, it actually worked, I'm impressed." Hobbes remarked.

"I know! That's because I'm a geni-OH GOSH!"

Some birds and flown through the balloons and popped a bunch of them, causing Calvin and Hobbes to go on a downward spiral.

"Quick! Steer ourselves back to the park! We'll be safe then!" Hobbes said as the two leaned to get themselves back to the park, but just when they were about to get there, a gust of wind sent them straight into a telephone pole, Hobbes jumped at the last second, while Calvin got electrocuted and fell to the ground.

"Did we learn something today Ben Franklin?" Hobbes asked jokingly as Calvin laid on the ground fuming.

"Shut up, now I'm back to square one again..." Calvin fumed.

 _ **Later...**_

Calvin was dragging cardboard wings up the hill.

"What are the cardboard wings for?" Hobbes asked.

"Flying, duh. I'm trying to do what Zach King did. Use cardboard wings."

"Who the heck is Zach King?"

"He's a world famous internet magician. I saw his attempts on YouTube."

"I know who Zach King is. I was tricking you. However, I know for a fact he uses digital editing to look like he's doing something."

"Oh, baloney! They're real and you know it!"

"You forgot to clap your hands, you know."

"Shut up. That's a stinking kids song. Just get me to fly."

"Whatever you say..." Hobbes said sighing.

Calvin put on the wings, and Hobbes hoisted him up.

"Geez, these wings are heavy." Hobbes remarked.

"JUST THROW ME OFF THE CLIFF!"

Hobbes threw Calvin off. Calvin found himself floating, and then flying once he started flapping the wings.

"Yes... Yes... I'M FLYING! I'M FLYING! I'M FL-OOP!"

The wings took Calvin straight into some rocks, and sent Calvin crashing down.

"OW! OOF! YEOW! HOBBES! YEEK! YIKES!"

"I should've seen that coming..." Hobbes said wincing at Calvin continuing to fall.

After that, Hobbes was resting at the hill when Calvin returned with even bigger cardboard wings, a ramp, and the wagon.

"What the-?" Hobbes said confused.

"I've tinkered with the wings, and I brought the wagon with me so I can have better air speed-"

"Aerodynamics"

"Whatever..." Calvin said as he climbed up to the top of Perishable Mountain, and flew down the hill, and the wagon took to the skies.

"I did it! Hobbes! I did it!" Calvin yelled out in glee.

"I can't believe it! He really did it!" Hobbes said amazed.

However, the wagon was floating straight into Calvin's parents' bedroom window.

"Watch out!" Hobbes cried out.

"What? Oh, crabapples!" Calvin yelled out as he jumped out of the wagon as the wagon hit the window and shattered it.

"CALVIN! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THIS WINDOW?!" Calvin's Dad yelled from inside, Calvin simply sighed.

Later, Calvin was sitting in his room fuming, while Hobbes was reading a comic book.

"This is hopeless. I'll never learn to fly because of Dad's angry attitude!" Calvin complained

"Or maybe..." Hobbes began.

"Shut up and go get Dad's drone." Calvin said cutting off Hobbes.

"Are you nuts? He'll kill us! That's literally the only modern thing he'll use!" Hobbes protested.

"No, its a last resort, I'll meet you on the roof." Calvin said as he began to leave.

"THE ROOF?! YOU'LL KILL YOURSELF FOR SURE!" Hobbes protested.

"I will not! I'm careful! You just need to make sure how to fly a drone." Calvin said in his defense.

"Well, I don't know how to drive a drone." Hobbes remarked.

"Oh come on Hobbes! Its just like flying a remote control helicopter! Its not rocket science!" Calvin said annoyed.

"Fine..." Hobbes grumbled.

Eventually, they were on the roof, with the drone hovering in the air with Calvin's hands taped onto it.

"You still want to go out with this?" Hobbes asked.

"Hobbes, I've never been so sure about anything, so get this flying, and I want you to control it to fly over the entire city, so all of Chagrin Falls will see." Calvin said confidently.

"Oh boy, I can't wait to see this groundbreaking act..." Hobbes said sarcastically.

"I know right? Onward!" Calvin commanded.

Hobbes used the controller to send the drone off with Calvin.

"IT WORKS! I'M FLYING!" Calvin said triumphantly.

Meanwhile, Dad was driving home from work.

"Ugh, what a day at work, I'm going to relax by using that drone I won at that auction." Dad remarked as he continued to drive.

Back with Calvin, he was still in the air with the drone, but the drone was starting to go down and then back up.

"Geez, I'm going to get killed at this rate! I need to get back home, I know that I can fly now at least." Calvin remarked.

"Calvin wants to come back? Oh well, guess if he wants to I will." Hobbes said as he controlled the drone to come back home after overhearing Calvin on the built in camera on the drone.

The drone however, kept going up and down, much to Calvin's annoyance.

"Geez, Hobbes better get it home faster, or else-" Calvin started to say before the unthinkable happened.

The drone stopped running.

"ARRRRRGGGHHHHHH!" Calvin yelled out as he and the drone plunged down, and then to add insult to injury, Calvin and the drone crashed into Dad's car, who swerved out of control and crashed into a tree. Luckily, nobody got hurt.

"Oh my gosh! What on earth hit-" Dad began to say before seeing Calvin, and his damaged drone.

"Uh, hi Dad..." Calvin said nervously.

 **CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!**

Hobbes was seeing this all unfold on the screen on the controller for the drone, and he was loving it.

"Well, it looks like Calvin is going to be 'grounded' for life. Heh heh..." Hobbes snickered as he continued to watch through the screen.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes: Owen Wilson**

 **Dad: Paul Rudd**

* * *

 **Next Episode: 20B- _I Dream of Calvin_ : Calvin goes into other people's dreams. **


	8. 20B: I Dream of Calvin

**I Dream of Calvin - Written by JaJaLoo and NMMacc18**

* * *

 **Plot: Calvin goes into other people's dreams.**

* * *

 **JaJaLoo: Sorry we haven't posted anything in a while. Writer's block straight out SUCKS. Anyway, onto the show.**

 **NMMacc18: Not to mention we've been busy!**

* * *

It was an average night at the Calvin household.

"AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! I'M NEVER GOING TO BED! YOU WILL NOT MAKE ME!" Calvin shrieked.

His mom was trying to give chase.

"CALVIN! YOU GET TO BED THIS INSTANT!" she yelled.

"NO!"

Calvin had opened the door and was out of the house in an instant.

Mom chased him, but was whacked by a shirt.

Calvin was ditching his clothes, except for his underwear.

Mom eventually caught up.

"I DON'T WANT TO GO TO BED! I WANNA STAY UP! PUT ME DOWN! LET ME GO! I'M NOT TIRED! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

After a while, Mom was able to wrestle Calvin into bed.

She went downstairs, and then had to answer several calls from the neighbors.

Later, Calvin was dreaming. He was riding down an extremely large hill with Hobbes, and they were going fast.

"I told you we shouldn't of gone down this hill." Hobbes remarked as Calvin swerved away from a giant tree.

"Oh shut up fleabag, there's nothing wrong with this at all! This is fun!" Calvin said in his defense.

But then, the wagon ran over a giant rock, and Calvin was flung out into the sky, and everything went dark.

It was at about 11:00 that Calvin felt a strange feeling, and woke up.

He woke up, and saw his body crippled on the floor.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed.

However, no one woke up.

Calvin was a ghost.

"I'm a ghost! Did someone shoot me like Biggie?"

Then Calvin felt himself getting sucked into Hobbes' ear.

"YYYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Calvin ended up in a land full of tuna next to Hobbes, where tigers roamed.

"Where am I?" Calvin asked himself. He noticed Hobbes was next to him.

"Hobbes, where am I?"

Hobbes ignored him.

Calvin shrugged.

"Oh yeah. I'm a ghost."

Calvin walked around the tiger/tuna wonderland.

He ended up in a club.

Pink Floyd's _Young Lust_ was being blasted out of the speakers.

Calvin then found Hobbes mingling with a female tiger.

"So, I'm Hobbes. What's your name?" Hobbes asked the tiger.

"Kate." The female tiger said, blushing.

"Nice name. Wanna dance?" Hobbes asked.

"I'd love to."

The two tigers hit the dancefloor and danced the night away.

Meanwhile, Calvin was sitting near a tuna bar.

He was pretty disgusted to say the least.

"Yeech, this is ridiculous! Hobbes dancing with a girl tiger! He's lucky that I can't get him right now since I'm a ghost!" Calvin complained.

Then suddenly, Calvin felt human again. He then marched up to Hobbes.

"HOBBES!"

"What the? How'd you get in my dream?!" Hobbes said bewildered to see Calvin in front of him.

"Uh... Honestly, I don't know. I had a dream where I got flung out of the wagon, and then I woke up to find myself a ghost, and got sucked here." Calvin explained.

"Right..." Hobbes said doubtfully.

"You calling me a liar?! May I also point out to you that you are violating Section Five, Subsection 27 of the G.R.O.S.S. Club Charter by dancing with a female!" Calvin angrily said.

"But she's a tiger!" Hobbes protested.

"I DON'T CARE! I'M DEMOTING YOU TO TIGER BUM THIRD CLASS!" Calvin shot back.

Then, Hobbes whistled, and a large group of tigers appeared and stared at Calvin, who gulped.

"Have at him!" Hobbes pointed to the tigers, who all pounced at Calvin.

"ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!"

Calvin screamed as he bolted out of the club, with the group of tigers after him.

Several tried pouncing him, but they kept pouncing each other, allowing Calvin to get away.

"Ha! Those tigers are as dumb as Hobbes! Now I just need to find a way to get outta here!" Calvin said relieved, only to be surrounded by a bunch of tanks that were tuna cans.

A tiger dressed in a military uniform popped out of one of them and pointed at Calvin and went back in. The tanks proceeded to shoot out tuna at Calvin.

"AKTPH! STOP THIS! I'VE DONE NOTHING!" Calvin yelled out in protest as he got out from the tuna and bolted away from the tanks, only to find himself being chased by a bunch of tigers with tuna guns.

Eventually, the cornered Calvin to the edge of a cliff, but Calvin got the same feeling again, and was sucked out of the dream.

When Calvin returned, he was still a ghost.

"That was weird. I can apparently go into other people's dreams. Let's try Dad's." Calvin said intrigued as he went to his parents room and soon got sucked into his Dad's ear.

When he entered the dream, Calvin was a ghost again, and found himself on a bike trail.

"What the? Oh wait, this makes since, considering Dad loves to bike." Calvin said as he looked around.

Then, Dad biked right through Calvin. Calvin turned around to see another Calvin.

Confused, Calvin used his abilities as a ghost to get right up to the two.

"Gee Dad, this sure is building character!" The other Calvin said enthusiastically.

"Isn't building character one of life's great joys?" Dad said back to the other Calvin in agreement.

"Sure is! I built a ton this morning by mowing the lawn, cleaning the gutters, and cleaning the entire house!" The other Calvin responded.

"Sheesh, this guy is like my good side on steroids..." Calvin remarked in disgust.

Suddenly, Calvin found himself in the stands of the local ball park, and saw Dad pitching a ball to the other Calvin, who hit his pitch out of sight.

"Wow son! With hits like that, you'll be just as good as your old man!" Dad said impressed.

"Oh please! You weren't even that good when you played baseball in college! Not to mention you threw your arm out because you stunk so much! All-American my rear end!" Calvin ranted.

But since Calvin was still a ghost, the other Calvin nor Dad could hear him.

Then, Calvin suddenly found himself on an island, and cringed.

It was the same island where the family camps each year.

He saw Dad and the other Calvin in a canoe in the lake fishing.

"Nothing better than fishing with you on a camping trip Dad!" The other Calvin remarked.

"Okay that's it, I've seen enough of this mahogany..." Calvin said as he went onto the lake, though he realized he had yet again turned back to human form, though still had his ghost abilities, so he went underwater, without even getting wet, and capsized the canoe.

"That's what you get for wanting me to be a goody-two shoes, character building son Dad!" Calvin yelled out as the other Calvin and Dad came above water.

"What the?! There's TWO of you?!" Dad said looking at the two in shock.

But before Calvin could respond, he got that feeling again, and was sucked out of the dream, back to his parents' bedroom, where he was back to being a ghost.

"I'd hate to see what Mom's dream is like..." Calvin grumbled as he tried to leave the bedroom, only to be sucked into Mom's ear as well.

"Of course I get sucked in..." He grumbled as he looked around in Mom's dream, with the house being spotless.

Calvin then came across, yet another Calvin, who was scrubbing the floor.

"Wonderful job Calvin! This house looks absolutely perfect!" Mom said impressed.

"Well of course it would be Mom! Anything to please you!" The other Calvin said happily. Calvin cringed in disgust.

"Would you care for some Spinach for dinner tonight?" Mom asked.

"You bet I would!" The other Calvin said enthusiastically.

"SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF THIS NIGHTMARE!" Calvin yelled out, and was sucked out of the dream, and was flung out of the house, and into Susie's room.

"GAH! NOT SUSIE'S ROOM! ANYTHING BUT THIS! WHY DO I GOTTA BE IN A GIRL'S ROOM?!" Calvin yelled out in despair.

Calvin was then sucked into Susie's dream.

"Of course, to add insult to injury..." Calvin grumbled as he was sucked into the dream.

When Calvin entered the dream, he found himself in Miss Wormwood's classroom, where Miss Wormwood was giving a lecture on Geology.

"...Geology will allow us to study so many types of rocks, that will definitely fascinate you to learn all the ins and outs of them." Miss Wormwood said.

"How surprising Susie's dream is being in school..." Calvin muttered sarcastically.

Then, two men in suits came into the room.

"By orders from the United States Department of Education. The student known as Calvin, otherwise known as the Noodle Incident kid, will be transferred from Bill Watterson Elementary School to Nero's School of the Deranged and Insane, where he will remain and be observed 24/7 by officials until he is no longer seen as a threat to society." The first man said, reading from a paper.

"Finally!" Susie said relieved, with several other students and Miss Wormwood cheering at this announcement.

"WHAT?! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING! THIS IS A DIRECT ATTACK ON ME! I DEMAND TO SPEAK WITH MY LAWYER THAT I DON'T HAVE!" The other Calvin screamed as the other man attempted to drag him out of the classroom.

"Okay, this takes the cake! I'm not going to let myself get taken to a mental institution!" Calvin said as he transformed back into a human, much to the shock of his classmates.

"Calvin! What are you doing in my dream?!" Susie said annoyed.

"Because your stupid dream involves pain and suffering to me! I won't stand for it!" Calvin yelled back.

Then, Susie grabbed out a gigantic water gun, and sprayed it at Calvin, sending him through the wall.

"Finish him!" Susie commanded, as the entire class and Miss Wormwood came and started coming after Calvin with their own water guns and spraying it at Calvin, while Calvin tried to make an escape, only to get caught by one of the men, and thrown into the back of a van.

"NO! I CAN'T GO TO THAT SCHOOL! I NEED TO GET SUCKED OUT OF HERE NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW!" Calvin yelled out, after which, he was sucked out, only to be flung straight to Moe's house, and into his room.

"I feel like even though I'm a ghost, I'm being flung to these places intentionally..." Calvin mused suspiciously.

Then, as if on cue, Calvin was sucked into Moe's dream. When he got into it, he found himself in Washington D.C. on the White House lawn.

"Awesome! Now I can finally take over the White House and declare myself Dictator for Life of the United States!" Calvin laughed evilly.

However, Calvin then noticed, that people were running and screaming in terror, as fire and explosions were all over the place.

"I forgot for a second that I was in a dream..." Calvin sighed.

Calvin looked at the White House to see the American Flag being taken down, and a flag with Moe and Dr. Scientist's faces on them being put up in its place.

"You know, I would think that this would be Dr. Doofus' dream, but considering he's locked up in some top secret prison, the other moron has to do the dreaming for him..." Calvin remarked looking at the flag.

Then, a gigantic robot landed on the White House lawn, with some damage due to it being in some tense battles, but out popped Dr. Scientist, looking thrilled as he ran inside. Curious, Calvin followed, but since he was still a ghost, Dr. Scientist didn't notice him.

He followed him all the way to the Oval Office.

"Looks like the world is ours now Dad!" Moe remarked as Dr. Scientist came in.

"Indeed it is! Finally! After all these years of trial and error, I, Dr. Murdoch Scientist, have finally taken over the world! With the help of my son of course." Dr. Scientist said victorious.

"Think again loons." Calvin said as he became human.

"Twinky?! I thought we killed you!" Moe said in shocked.

"Well technically, this is just a dream, so even though I didn't happen to witness you killing me, I've come back, I guess... Though I just kinda got sucked into this dream so... that's basically why I'm here." Calvin said, trying to explain it to the two.

"Well, even if we killed you once, we can have just as much fun as killing you AGAIN!" Dr. Scientist said as he pulled out his laser gun and shot it at Calvin, but Calvin used his ghostly abilities so that he wasn't effected at all.

"IMPOSSIBLE! HOW ON EARTH DID YOU MAKE YOURSELF IMMUNE TO ALL ATTACKS?!" Dr. Scientist said bewildered.

"Like I said... its a dream..." Calvin said as if the answer was obvious.

"Dream schmeme twinky!" Moe said as he threw a boomerang at Calvin, which also went straight through Calvin.

"Gee Moe, for someone who plays football, basketball, baseball, and lacrosse, that was a pretty pathetic shot!" Calvin laughed.

The father and son were livid, but before they could do anything else, a man dressed like a ninja came in with a crate and left.

"Is it? It is! My nuclear weaponry came in!" Dr. Scientist said in glee as he grabbed a nuclear grenade from the crate.

"Nuclear weaponry? I wanna go!" Calvin said as he grabbed a nuclear grenade launcher, and tried to get it to launch.

"Twinky you idiot! Your gonna blow us all up with the way you're handling this!" Moe said as he tried to get the launcher off Calvin, but Calvin accidentally pressed the launch button, and caused a gigantic explosion, and everything went dark.

"CALVIN! GET UP OR ELSE YOU'RE GOING TO MISS THE BUS!" Calvin's Mom yelled from downstairs the next morning.

Calvin woke up, and realized that he was back to his human self.

"Oh well, I guess its nice to be back to my old self." Calvin remarked as he rolled out of bed.

"Ugh, I was having such a great dream last night. I was in a club dancing with this cute tiger girl, and then you came in and got mad at me for dancing with her, and demoting me from G.R.O.S.S... and I had a bunch of tigers chase after you." Hobbes said, explaining the dream to Calvin.

"Yeah, and why on earth do you have tigers with tuna guns? That's just dumb..." Calvin said as he left his room. Hobbes didn't respond because he was in shock on how Calvin knew the details of his dream.

Calvin was eating breakfast, while his dad was reading the paper.

"You know Calvin, I had a funny dream last night. I dreamed that you were with me fishing at our usual camping spot, and then another you came out of nowhere and capsized the boat." Dad explained.

"Yeah I know, I capsized it because I was tired of the character building attitude you gave dream me." Calvin replied as he finished and left the table. Dad was surprised at this, as Calvin literally knew the entire contents of his dream.

While he was waiting for the bus, Susie came up to Calvin.

"Sleep well last night Susie?" Calvin asked sheepishly.

"Uh, for the most part I guess..." Susie said confused.

"Have any interesting dreams last night?"

"Well, I had this one where you were going to get transferred to some school for the insane, then another version of you came and tried to stop it, only for the entire class to take you down."

"Well that's because I was that other version." Calvin said proudly.

"What do you mean?" Susie asked confused.

"Oh, for some reason I became a ghost, and allowed me to go into other people's dreams." Calvin explained.

"Right..." Susie said doubtfully as the two got on the bus.

Calvin was getting some books from his locker when Moe came out.

"Hey twinky! Today is an extra special day, because today, you gotta pay up a whole dollar." Moe said to Calvin.

"What?! What's with the inflation? Are you taking your anger out at ME because you had a bad dream last night?" Calvin shot back.

"Well, partially. You literally ruined my dream! Dad and I had finally taken over the world, but then you came in and blew up everything!" Moe said annoyed.

"Well, that's the glory of being able to be in one's dreams I suppose." Calvin remarked.

Moe did not take too kindly to this and punched Calvin into a locker and left.

"Figures the only one who gets mad at me being in their dream is the big galoot himself..." Calvin sighed as he laid on the floor in pain.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin/Men: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes/Tigers: Owen Wilson**

 **Dad: Paul Rudd**

 **Mom/Kate: Scarlett Johansson**

 **Susie: Jennifer Lawrence**

 **Moe: Jeremy Irons**

 **Miss Wormwood: Kathryn Hahn**

 _ **Special Guest Star:**_

 ** _Dr. Scientist: Elijah Wood_**

* * *

 **Next Episode: 21: Claw and Order-Tracer Bullet along with Senior Detective Hobbes have to solve a murder in a Law and Order style episode.**


	9. 21: Claw and Order

_**Claw and Order**_ **-Written by NMMacc18**

* * *

 **Plot: In a Law and Order style episode, Tracer Bullet teams up with Senior Detective Hobbes to solve a murder.**

* * *

 _In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate, yet equally important groups. The police, consisting of a six year old and a tiger, who make an attempt to investigate these crimes, and the District Attorney's, consisting of a character building dad and a girl that one of the detectives absolutely despises, who prosecute the offenders to the best of their ability without the police impeding the case. These are their bizarre stories._

 ** _18th National Bank, June 12th._**

"Welcome to the 18th National Bank, are you making a withdrawal or a deposit?" The bank teller asked to the masked person.

"Oh I don't know..." The person said as he pulled out a gun, "Give me all you got.

The teller panicked, and pressed the emergency button, and sirens started blaring.

"Of course..." The person grumbled as he bolted off.

Two security guards attempt to get the person, but they ran into each other, and the person managed to sneak into the back and got to the big vault. He then threw a bomb and destroyed the door of the vault.

"Alright! Big payday for me!" The person said in glee as he began stuffing money into his bags.

Just as the person finished getting all the money and started to leave, the teller came back in.

"STOP! DON'T MOVE!" The teller said as she ran back in.

The person threw a smoke grenade and vanished.

Once the smoke has cleared, two guards entered the vault room.

"Sheesh, that guy sure got away with a lot." The first guard remarked.

"Yeah he sure did-" The second guard began to say as he saw the teller lying unconscious on the ground, and checked her pulse, "Crud! No pulse! Quick, call 911!"

A police car arrived, and Senior Detective Hobbes came out of it.

"Ah good detective you're here." An officer said relieved as he led Hobbes in.

"Give me a rundown." Hobbes said.

"So some guy came to the bank, and went up to a teller demanding money, the teller set off the emergency alarm, and during the chaos, he managed to sneak into the vault." The officer explained.

"Nobody could stop them?" Hobbes asked confused.

"A couple of guards attempted to, but they ran into each other." The officer explained.

"So basically the bank is being guarded by a bunch of incompetent cartoon characters?" Hobbes asked sarcastically.

"Call it what you may. And so the same teller tried to stop him and he threw a smoke grenade to escape, and then two guards came after the smoke cleared and found the teller dead. They think it was from smoke installation from the grenade." The officer explained.

"Seems like the most logical cause of death..." Hobbes remarked.

"Hey! Outta my way idiots! I got a .44 Magnum on me and I'm not afraid to use it!" A voice said.

"Who was that?" Hobbes said as he looked around, only to see a person, a kid really, with a trench coat and fedora on.

"Greetings, name's Bullet, Tracer Bullet. I was assigned to assist you while your other partner is out." The person said as he came up to Hobbes.

"Oh yeah, I've heard a lot about you..." Hobbes remarked wearily.

"Hey, don't listen to the papers! Lets just get down to the chase shall we? So what are we dealing with, breaking and entering gone wrong?" Bullet said as he started walking further toward the crime scene.

All the Senior Detective could do was sigh.

* * *

 _ **Claw**_

 **Starring Tom Kenny...**

 **Owen Wilson...**

 **Scarlett Johansson..** _ **.**_

 _ **Order**_

 **Starring Paul Rudd...**

 **Jennifer Lawrence...**

 **and Tom Cruise...**

 _ **Claw and Order**_

 **Created by Bill Watterson**

* * *

Back at the 18th Precinct, the two detectives went through case file after case file, but could not find a lead.

"This is ridiculous! Absolutely nothing has helped us give us a clue who this dang murderer was!" Tracer Bullet grumbled.

"I'm telling you, that bank has tons of problems. I mean, what kind of bank doesn't have any security cameras?!" Hobbes said in agreement.

"I don't even know why I trust them with my money..." Bullet grumbled.

"Good news detectives, I finally found some info that may help you." The Lieutenant said as she handed a file to the two.

"What kind of info? Are we talking motives, suspects, or what?!" Bullet asked.

"Look for yourself." The Lieutenant said sighing as she went back to her office.

"Darn dames, they're the reason I went out of business..." Bullet grumbled.

"Wasn't it also because you were holding innocent people at gunpoint demanding them to help you figure out what case you were on, as well as a litany of other things?" Hobbes asked as he perused the file.

"Oh yeah? Isn't the reason I'm taking your partner's place was because HE held someone at gunpoint as an interrogation method?" Bullet shot back.

"Actually HE was the one who was held at gunpoint and got beaten up pretty bad." Hobbes explained.

"Likely story..." Bullet mused. The Senior Detective sighed.

"Alright, this file suggests that the victims boyfriend, Charlie may know a thing or two about the murder." Hobbes explained.

"Well then, shall we got pay him a visit?" Bullet snickered as he got up.

"Might as well." Hobbes said as the two left.

 _ **Apartment of Charlie McNameless, June 13th.**_

 **KNOCK KNOCK!**

"Still nothing..." Hobbes sighed. The two had spent ten minutes knocking on his apartment door in order to get in.

"Well, looks like we gotta take drastic measures..." Bullet said as he pulled a gun out of his trench coat, and shot the door knob, destroying it.

"Are you crazy?! We can't just barge into his apartment without a warrant! That's illegal!" Hobbes protested.

"Illegal, schmillegal. Sometimes detectives like us gotta take measures we don't wanna take." Bullet said in his defense as he entered the apartment, Hobbes followed.

They looked through the apartment, but found nothing that would've arose the suspicion of him being the murderer.

"Well, this was worthless. Not one piece of evidence, not to mention he isn't even home!" Bullet said annoyed.

Just then, Charlie walked into his apartment, shocked to see two detectives in it.

"What the? Is this about the murder?" Charlie asked.

"I'm afraid so. I apologize that we barged into your apartment, but my interim partner was determined to find something to help us..." Hobbes said apologetically.

"I honestly don't know much about it. All I know was that the killer was pretty short, like the guy in the trench coat is." Charlie explained.

"That does match the police report... So looks like we got some more investigating to do..." Hobbes remarked.

"Fine! But we better find him eventually!" Bullet grumbled as the two left.

 _ **Bill's Diner, June 13th.**_

"So according to the report, the killer had big hands, and was on the shorter and burlier side.." Hobbes said as he scanned over the police report again.

"Yeah, but just think of it! Thing is, she probably died of smoke inhalation from the smoke grenade! The autopsy report said there was no evidence of gunshot wounds or anything!" Bullet pointed out.

"Exactly, that's our problem. Without a murder weapon, all we can really go off is the description..." Hobbes said in agreement.

Just then, a masked person came in and threw a smoke grenade into the kitchen, with a gun in his hand.

While others ran out screaming in fear, the two detectives tagged back.

"This guy matches our description! Not to mention that's the same description used for all the other robberies around here lately!" Bullet exclaimed.

"You're right, I think we got our man..." Hobbes said as he pulled out his handcuffs.

Bullet shot out his gun in order to distract the masked man.

"What the?! Who's shooting?!" The masked man said as he tried to get more money out of the cash register.

Hobbes took advantage of him being distracted and pounced the masked man, and handcuffed him.

"Hey! What gives?!" The man protested.

Bullet came over and pulled off the mask.

"Well, if it isn't Moe Scientist..." Bullet snickered.

"Bullet?! I thought you went out of business?!" Moe exclaimed.

"I did, but I'm still a detective..." Bullet snickered.

"Alright Moe, you're under arrest for the murder of a bank teller as well as robbery, and attempted robbery among other things... You have the right to remain silent, anything can be said and used against you..." Hobbes said as he and Bullet hauled Moe out of the diner.

* * *

 _ **Commercial Break**_

* * *

 _ **Supreme Court, 85th Chapter, June 16th.**_

"Alright next case! People v. Moe Scientist... Defendant, how do you plead?"

"Not guilty, your honor."

"Does the prosecution have a recommended bail?"

"Prosecution recommends a ten million dollar bail, considering that the defendant also committed several other robberies during his crime spree..."

"What?! The prosecution is being ridiculous! There's no proof he committed all the other ones!" The defense attorney exclaimed.

"It is not!"

"I'm afraid that the defense has a point Ms. Derkins. While the defendant is being charged with murder and robbery, we're more focused on this sole one. One million dollar bail will do. Next case!"

 _ **Office of DA Spittle, June 16th.**_

"So do you think we should make a plea bargain? We drop the robbery charges, and give him 15-20 for murder." The Assistant District Attorney suggested to District Attorney Spittle.

"I don't think any plea bargain would work with this guy. Our best bet is simply getting him convicted..." Spittle said.

"Well, its going to be hard anyway to convict him! We hardly got any evidence to begin with!" Derkins protested.

Just then, Bullet busted in the office with a bunch of bags.

"Great news! I went to the dude's apartment! I found millions of bucks in stolen cash! Not to mention tons of smoke grenades as well! This guy can be found guilty easily!" Bullet exclaimed.

The prosecutors looked at each other for a minute.

"Well, looks like we got a case now thanks to Bullet here. Just do what you need to do to get a conviction." Spittle said approvingly.

 _ **Supreme Court, 72nd Chapter, June 17th.**_

"So Mr. Bullet, you say that once you saw the defendant throw that smoke grenade into the kitchen at the diner, you were sure that he was indeed the murderer?" The ADA asked.

"Indeed! Not to mention that the toxins in the smoke grenade were the exact same ones that the autopsy said killed the bank teller when I searched his apartment! Its clear as day it was him!" Bullet said confidently.

"No further questions." The ADA said as he walked back to his desk, and gave a wink to Derkins, who winked back, both were sure they had the case good as one.

Then, the defense attorney went up.

"So Mr. Bullet, you say you enacted a search warrant on my client's apartment correct?" The defense attorney asked.

"Yes." Bullet responded.

"Would you care to show us that search warrant?" The defense attorney asked.

"Uh... I don't think I have it on me..." Bullet said slightly nervous.

"Is there something you'd like to tell us Mr. Bullet?" The judge asked suspiciously.

"Hold on! Let me grab it! Its in my trench coat somewhere!" Bullet said as he ended up grabbing a sheet of paper and handed it to the defense attorney.

"Gee, this warrant looks like it was signed, by yourself Mr. Bullet, is that correct?" The defense attorney asked.

"Of course I signed it! What, are you telling me a detective can't sign off on his own search warrant?!" Bullet accused.

"No! You can't do that!" Derkins yelled out annoyed.

"Shut up Derkins! You're the reason why female politicians never win at anything!" Bullet yelled back.

"Well you've basically ruined our entire case you sexist pig!" Derkins yelled back.

"Oh shut up! I did more work than any of you bums combined! This is why I'ma private eye!"

 _ **BANG! BANG!**_

"Order! Order in this court!" The judge boomed as he banged his gavel, "I want all of the prosecution's evidence to be wiped from the record, and we shall reconvene tomorrow due to this tomfoolery!" The judge declared.

Bullet ran out of the courtroom as fast as he could, and Hobbes followed him.

* * *

"Of course! Once again that dumb detective ruins our entire case!" Derkins said in fury in the office.

"Calm down Susie, there's not much we can do about it..." The ADA said.

"He's right unfortunately. The best you two can do is to go home and think on how we can win this case. We don't have a lot of evidence to work with now, but at least work with what we got, and hopefully tomorrow we can try and win back the jury." Spittle said.

Back at the 18th Precinct, Bullet was smoking a cigar, when Hobbes came in with some coffee.

"So let me get this straight, you made that warrant because you didn't realize that you needed a judge to sign off on one?" Hobbes asked.

"Well yeah! I've worked as a private eye my entire career! I never needed warrants and junk like that!" Bullet explained.

"I think you need to be trained again..." Hobbes muttered.

"Well warrants are dumb anyways! Why can't we just barge in to find what we need?! It makes our jobs a whole lot easier!" Bullet said in his defense.

Then, the phone rang, Hobbes answered it.

"Senior Detective Hobbes. Oh hey Spittle... What? Are you serious? Alright, you got it, we'll do it." Hobbes said and hung up.

"What does the DA want now?" Bullet asked.

Hobbes sighed and looked at Bullet.

"The ADA's... Spittle was with the police... They're dead..."

 _ **Supreme Court, 72nd Chapter, June 18th.**_

"...so based on these circumstances. Due to the death of the prosecution, and the replacements having no evidence to offer up to the jury, I have no choice but to drop all charges against the defendant. He is free to go, along with the jury, court is adjourned!" The judge declared.

The two detectives sighed as they looked on the other side of the courtroom, as Moe and his defense attorney celebrated their victory.

"Well Tracer, you screwed up and blew the case. But, not a ton we can do about it I guess. Not every murderer gets his just deserts..." Hobbes said as the two walked out of the courthouse.

"Yeah, well, warrants shouldn't even have to exist..." Bullet grumbled.

Then, several police officers surrounded Bullet and tackled him and handcuffed him.

"HEY?! WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?! I'M A DETECTIVE YOU KNOW!" Bullet yelled out as he tried to break free from them.

"We're well aware of that. But you are under arrest for conspiracy of the murder of two prosecutors." An officer said as Bullet was led away.

"WHAT?! THIS IS MAHOGANY! I'M BEING FRAMED! IT WAS MOE THAT DID THAT! HE WANTED TO MAKE SURE HE GOT AWAY WITH IT! IT WAS HIM! HIIIMMM!"

In all of his years of being a detective, Hobbes had never seen anything like he had just saw. As he saw Bullet screaming bloody murder as he was led away, all he could do was shrug and head back down to the 18th Precinct.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin/Tracer Bullet: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes/Senior Detective Hobbes/Charlie: Owen Wilson**

 **Mom/Lieutenant: Scarlett Johansson**

 **Dad/ADA/Officer: Paul Rudd**

 **Susie/ADA Derkins: Jennifer Lawrence**

 **Principal Spittle/DA Spittle: Tom Cruise**

 **Rosalyn/Bank Teller: Leslie Bibb**

 _ **Special Guest Star:**_

 _ **The Judge: Sam Waterson**_

* * *

 **Next Episode: 22: _Double Trouble-_ Dr. Scientist and Duplicate 7 team up to take over the world and get rid of Calvin and Hobbes.**


	10. 22: Double Trouble

_**Double Trouble -**_ **Written by JaJaLoo**

* * *

 **Plot: Dr. Scientist and Duplicate 7 team up to take over the world.**

* * *

 **So, if you read NMMacc18's update, The Calvin and Hobbes Show is on a massive hiatus because we have been extremely busy. Finals week is a pain, and school has been super busy with all the homework piling on us. As I have a little time on my hands, I shall be posting the rest of Season 2. Hopefully we can get Season 3 back on his page sometime. In the meantime, enjoy my first works since...June. Yeah, I've taken a hiatus too. Enjoy the show.**

* * *

It was another average day in Chagrin Falls.

Calvin and Hobbes were in another battle with Dr. Scientist, who was on a turret.

Well, Calvin was.

"This is so stupid! They put you in some top-secret prison, and yet you still break out! Why can't ridiculous cartoon shenanigans ever work out in my favor?!" Calvin complained as he dodged some lasers.

"Because destiny is designed to be in _my_ favor." Dr. Scientist said as he stuck his tongue out, before firing another laser.

Hobbes meanwhile was sitting on a rock, eating some tuna.

"HOBBES! HELP ME OUT HERE! HE'S TOO POWERFUL!"

"Glad to see you admit it!" Dr. Scientist shouted, shooting another laser from his turret.

Hobbes tossed the Transmogrifier Gun to him, and Calvin transmogrified the turret into a stick.

Dr. Scientist fell to the ground.

"GOD!" He yelled. "WHY AM I ALWAYS OUTSMARTED BY YOU TWO?"

"Because I'm better than you and your boyfriend's a loser." Calvin taunted.

"I AM NOT GAY!" Dr. Scientist yelled, before he stormed off.

Hobbes got off the rock and walked towards Calvin.

"So, he's still a wuss?" Hobbes asked.

"Absolutely. He's easy to beat." Calvin replied.

"Now, Duplicate 7 was pretty tough to beat."

"I can agree with that."

"I wonder what would happen if they teamed up?" Hobbes wondered aloud.

"That's ludicrous. The dumbness of Dr. Scientist and the smartness of Duplicate 7 will never combine well."

"Dr. Scientist is pretty smart, Calvin."

"Shut up, and let's play some Calvinball." Calvin said, as he and Hobbes walked to the backyard.

* * *

In his lab, Dr. Scientist walked in, battered and bruised.

Hugh and Jack were relaxing with a record player.

"Hey, boss. Another defeat?" Hugh asked.

"Yup." Dr. Scientist grumbled. "What are you two buffoons doing?"

"We got some money, and we went down to a place called the record store." Jack said.

"There's this one band we really like called Iron Maiden." Hugh said, holding up the _Piece of Mind_ album art.

"The guy looks quite scary." Jack said, curling into a ball.

"Enough." Dr. Scientist groaned, taking off his lab coat and throwing it at Hugh. "Just go wash my lab coat."

"On it, boss!" Hugh said, running out of the room.

Dr. Scientist entered his computer room, and was prepared to watch another movie on Netflix.

He was about to start _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_ when he got a Skype from an unknown caller.

He pressed decline, but the caller came back.

Once again, he declined.

The caller called back.

This went on for fifteen minutes, until Dr. Scientist finally picked up.

"What do you want?" he shouted.

Duplicate 7 appeared on the screen.

"Finally." Duplicate 7 sighed. " Do you know how long it took to get your number? Three hours. I tried using a website called People Finder, but I needed money, so I went to the bank..."

"I don't need to hear your life story, pal." Dr. Scientist said. "What do you want from me?"

"You're a sworn enemy of Calvin and Hobbes, right?" Duplicate 7 asked.

"Yeah. How do you know this?"

"You're in the news, dude. The Moon Goon incident went viral on Twitter."

"Who exactly are you? Is this just a prank call by Calvin?" Dr. Scientist asked.

"Actually I'm not Calvin, I was a duplicate created by him. Duplicate 7 is my name to be exact." The person said.

"Wait? So..."

"Yes, I'm the one who busted you out of prison. It was pretty ugly honestly, I ignited that whole riot, and then there was bombs, guns, you name it going off and stuff. I put you in that capsule so you would heal faster." Duplicate 7 explained.

"How long was I even in there for?" Dr. Scientist asked curious.

"Oh, about 2-3 months I'd suppose." Duplicate 7 responded.

"TWO TO THREE MONTHS?! I WAS IN A COMA FOR THAT LONG?!" Dr. Scientist said in shock.

"Yeah, one of those bombs got you good." Duplicate 7 responded.

"So you've been watching the house and everything since we got back?" Dr. Scientist asked.

"Indeed I have. I got most of your stuff back after the government raided the house after you got arrested, I've kept your two idiot assistants from burning the house down several times, made sure your son got to school safely, you name it." Duplicate 7 responded.

"Wow, that's impressive I gotta say, especially keeping Hugh and Jack under control." Dr. Scientist said impressed.

"It wasn't easy, let me tell ya." Duplicate 7 snickered.

"So why me? Why'd you decide to help me?" Dr. Scientist asked.

"Well Murdoch, let's think here for a second. It seems that we both have a common goal and enemy..." Duplicate 7 began.

"You mean you want to world domination and get rid of that spiky-haired freak and his dumb tiger as well?" Dr. Scientist asked surprised.

"Yep. Besides, with our brains combined together, it should be a snap!" Duplicate 7 said confidently.

"It could be..." Dr. Scientist pondered.

"So whaddya say, team up?"

"Team up." Dr. Scientist said in agreement as the two laughed manically.

Meanwhile, Calvin and Hobbes were sulking in the G.R.O.S.S. treehouse.

Well, really it was just Calvin sulking.

"Unbelievable! I had it plotted out perfectly, and then once again you screw up and cause Susie to figure out my plan, and I got soaked as a result!" Calvin fumed.

"Well, you were never specific to where to put the water balloons." Hobbes remarked.

"Well it should've been obvious where I wanted them..." Calvin complained.

"Well if someone else was planting those and not me, they wouldn't of known where to put them." Hobbes said in his defense.

"Enough! For ruining my plans yet again, and for questioning my brilliance, you get 30 demerits!" Calvin said as he scribbled it down in the club notebook. Hobbes just rolled his eyes.

Suddenly, Calvin and Hobbes heard a blood-curdling scream.

"AIIIIIIIIEEEEE! CALVIN! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS I SWEAR!" Susie screamed out.

Calvin and Hobbes ran out to the front to see Susie stuck on the sidewalk in glue, with a fish net over her.

"Hey! You're not Calvin!" Duplicate 7 said annoyed as he realized his mistake.

Calvin and Hobbes gasped to see it was Duplicate 7.

"Hey! I thought we got rid of you months ago!" Calvin said annoyed as he and Hobbes marched up to Duplicate 7.

"Well well well, if it isn't Calvin and the thing that looks like Tigger." Duplicate 7 snickered.

Hobbes reacted to this by pouncing on Duplicate 7, who then flung Hobbes into a tree with his powers.

"Listen Dupe, let's get one thing straight here. The only person that is allowed to mess with Hobbes and Susie is ME! That is MY job! Not yours!" Calvin said.

"Hey, what I did to the tiger was intentional, and I got this girl instead on accident! I was trying to get you!" Duplicate 7 said in his defense.

"Oh, so you think I'm a girl?!" Calvin said offended.

"No! Its just the ship detected a six-year-old, so I assumed it was you!" Duplicate 7 explained.

"What ship?!"

Suddenly, a giant airship flew over Duplicate 7, and a latter came down, to which Duplicate 7 climbed on.

"It doesn't matter really, once Murdoch and I get what we need, you'll be history!" Duplicate 7 laughed as the ship zoomed off in the sky.

"WHAT?! THAT STUPID DUPLICATE TEAMED UP WITH DR. SCIENTIST?! WHY! WHY! WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO DEAL WITH THESE PROBLEMS?!" Calvin said in total fury.

"Uh, who's Dr. Scientist?" Susie asked as she managed to get up and take the net off her.

"Moe's dumb dad who's a nutjob! He teamed up with this evil duplicate of mine that I didn't even know existed to take over the world! I gotta find Hobbes!" Calvin said as he dashed off to find him.

"I wish my Dad could get transferred to some place that had normal neighbors..." Susie said sighing as she went back into her house.

Calvin found Hobbes stuck in a tree in the forest behind their house.

"Hobbes! There you are! Hurry, get down from there!" Calvin called up.

"Why should I? I actually kinda like it up here, reminds me of the jungle." Hobbes remarked, enjoying his surroundings.

"We have far more important things to deal with fleabag! Duplicate 7 teamed up with Dr. Scientist! We gotta stop those two! With the two of them working together, anything could happen!" Calvin exclaimed.

"Oh well, have fun doing that." Hobbes said not really caring about the whole situation.

"I'm not doing this alone! Help me or else I'll demote you to Club Buffoon!" Calvin threatened.

Hobbes sighed, knowing that he didn't have any other option, he came down and followed Calvin to the garage, where they got the wagon.

"So where to?" Hobbes asked.

"Simple, lets just head into town, they'll probably be doing something down there." Calvin said as the two ventured off.

* * *

The airship was shooting lasers all over Chagrin Falls.

Inside, Dr. Scientist was laughing like a loon.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! SUCK ON THIS, OHIO!" He screamed.

Duplicate 7 came out of the shower just then.

"God, will you keep it down? I'm trying to wash up before my big entrance." He scolded.

"Sorry, you idiot." Dr. Scientist retorted.

Duplicate 7 exited his sleeping quarters, fully clothed.

"On a normal day, I'd kick your butt. But I have to go."

Duplicate 7 saluted Dr. Scientist, and leaped out of the airship.

"I swear I'll kill that moron one day." Dr. Scientist grumbled, as he kept firing.

* * *

Meanwhile, Calvin and Hobbes swerved into downtown.

"Wow. Duplicate 7 really did a lot of damage." Hobbes observed.

"Looks like this dude is my super destructive side..." Calvin said, as the wagon zoomed closer towards the airship.

"So, what's the plan?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin looked around, and spotted a vacant car.

He smirked, and drove onto it.

"Buckle up, Hobbes."

"Wait, what?"

Calvin drove onto the car, and then was able to fly right up to the airship.

Hobbes was screaming the whole way.

And to make matters worse, they came up short.

"Great. We're gonna die!" Hobbes shouted.

"Not on my watch!" Calvin said.

He grabbed Hobbes' hand, and leaped right into the ship.

* * *

Dr. Scientist was still firing until the door was kicked open.

"What the..." he said.

"Whoa, neat airship!" Calvin said, looking all around. You got a smoothie machine, laser cannons, a tennis court, a movie theater..."

"Yes, that's some of the best features here. Coming soon, a graveyard." Dr. Scientist said, menacingly. "First to enter, you two."

Hobbes pounced Dr. Scientist straight into the control panel.

"Nice work, Hobbes!"

"I'm not going to be the first admittance into a graveyard!"

Dr. Scientist pulled out his walkie talkie.

* * *

Meanwhile, Duplicate 7 walked out of the Circle K, holding a hot dog, when his walkie talkie beeped.

"Hello? Murdoch? Is this you?"

"I need backup. Calvin and Hobbes are here on the ship. They're kicking my butt!" Dr. Scientist wailed over the walkie talkie.

"And I just got this hot dog! Alright. I'll be there in five."

Duplicate 7 threw the hot dog to the side, and pressed a teleportation button on his wristwatch.

* * *

Duplicate 7 was kicked right into the self destruct button by Calvin.

"How did you do that?" Duplicate 7 asked, dumbfounded.

"Five classes of Taekwondo." Calvin replied, confidently.

A computer voice was saying the words "Self Destruct" over and over again.

"Well, this is it. We're gonna die!" Dr. Scientist groaned.

"No we're not. To the emergency jetpacks!"

Dr. Scientist and Duplicate 7 ran off.

"Calvin! They're getting away!" Hobbes pointed out.

"Drat! I can't let those guys do that again. Do you see anything useful?" Calvin asked.

Hobbes looked around and saw two ray guns.

"How about some laser weaponry..." Hobbes started.

But Calvin was already off and running with a laser gun.

"That little fireplug..." Hobbes chuckled, as he grabbed a ray gun for himself.

* * *

As the airship was making its downward spiral, Dr. Scientist and Duplicate 7 grabbed the emergency jet packs and head towards two windows.

"Looks like to keep us safe, and to avoid us from getting caught, we're gonna have to split up for now." Dr. Scientist said.

"Yeah, I'm sick and tired of losing to a kid and a tiger..." Duplicate 7 said annoyed.

"Same here, we'll have to meet up again sometime in the future and re-evaluate our-"

"TIMES UP CHUMPS! WE'VE FOUND YOU AGAIN!" Calvin said cutting Dr. Scientist off as he and Hobbes entered with the ray guns.

Duplicate 7 jumped out of the one window and blasted off in the jet pack.

"You may have won THIS time Calvin, but I will win the war!" Dr. Scientist said as he jumped out of the airship and blasted off in the jet pack.

"Darn, and I was really looking forward to using one of these on them..." Calvin sighed.

"So... shouldn't we find a way to get outta here?" Hobbes asked.

"Oh yeah! Uhh... quick! Let's take those parachutes and bail out!" Calvin said pointing to two parachutes.

And so, the two quickly put them on and jumped out of the airship, and floated downward, while watching the airship go down in smoke.

"So does this count as an actual victory, or a moral victory since they got away?" Calvin asked to Hobbes as they floated down.

"No clue." Hobbes said, shrugging.

The airship landed in a nearby river, exploding.

* * *

After Calvin and Hobbes got the wagon back and got home, they collapsed on the bed.

"I need a nap." Hobbes said.

"No you don't. That's what you do when I'm at school!" Calvin shouted.

"Fair enough. So, do you think those two will return?" Hobbes asked.

"Probably by themselves in future episodes." Calvin said, picking up a comic book. "Hey! This issue already has marker stains on it! And Captain Maim has paws for hands! HOBBES!"

"Uh-oh..." Hobbes said, leaping out the window.

* * *

 **CAST**

 **Tom Kenny as Calvin**

 **Owen Wilson as Hobbes**

 **Jennifer Lawrence as Susie Derkins**

 _ **Special Guest** **Star: Ralph Macchio as Duplicate 7**_

 _ **Special Guest** **Star: Elijah Wood as Dr. Scientist**_

 _ **Special Guest** **Star: James Franco as Hugh**_

 _ **Special Guest Star: Michael J. Fox as Jack**_

* * *

 **Next Episode - Calvin the** **Pilot:** Dad gets on a plane to go on a business trip, only to discover Calvin is flying the plane.


	11. 23A: Calvin the Pilot

_**Calvin the Pilot-**_ **Written by NMMacc18**

* * *

 **Plot:** **Calvin's Dad gets on a plane to go on a business trip, only to discover Calvin is driving the plane.**

* * *

Calvin's Dad checked his suitcase again, wanting to make sure he had everything he needed.

"Dear, that's the third time you've checked your suitcase, I think you have everything." Calvin's Mom assured.

"I know... but this is an important trip I'm going on! If my firm wants to get those patent rights, I need to impress the guy and show that he would be handing the patent rights over to a trustworthy firm." Dad said in his defense.

"Well I wouldn't worry, I think everything will come out just fine." Mom said reassuringly.

Then, the bus came, and Dad gave Mom a kiss goodbye, and boarded the bus.

The bus went all the way to the airport, and Dad was the first off once it arrived there.

"Ugh, and I thought taking the bus to work was bad enough..." Dad said in disgust as he walked into the airport, and was shocked to see that there was already a big line for the baggage check.

After about a half hour later, Dad finally made it to the front of the line, and went to get his baggage checked.

"Just this bag sir?" The attendant asked.

"Yes." Dad said nodding.

The attendant looked at it for a moment, and then did some measurements.

"Actually sir, we changed our measurements on what constitutes luggage and carry-ons, and under our new policy, this suitcase here is technically a carry-on." The attendant explained.

"You mean to tell me I basically wasted 30 minutes in line to be told this?!"

"Afraid so sir."

Dad grabbed his suitcase and left fuming.

When he got to the security checkpoint, there was another long line.

"Of course! Why wouldn't there be a line! This is why I prefer driving to my destinations! But noooo! I just HAD to take the stupid airplane because its soooo much quicker! I might as well just live in the airport! These lines are always so long! Why even bother?! I might as well quit my job and just wait in lines for a living!" Dad ranted in fury, only to notice several people were looking at him strangely.

Dad kept quiet, and had to wait for about an hour, before he finally made it through TSA without issue, and walked to his gate.

"Finally! Now I can just relax a little and wait for my flight..." Dad said relieved as he pulled out a book and began to read it, but was interrupted when the intercom went of.

"Attention all passengers, Flight 891 from Cleveland to Chicago gate has changed from D-12 to Z-38. Boarding will begin in approximately five minutes." The announcer said on the intercom.

"FIVE MINUTES?! I gotta hurry!" Dad said panicked as he grabbed his stuff and started running to the end of the airport to catch his flight.

Now Dad had ran Cross Country and played Baseball in High School, so he was a pretty fast runner, but it probably didn't help that tons of people were coming in his direction, so he had to dodge people left and right to make it on time.

Luckily, he just made it in the nick of time, and managed to get in right before boarding ended. He quickly got on the plane, only to find most of the seats taken. Alas, he managed to find one empty seat and put his luggage and the compartment above and sat down and buckled up.

"Going on a business trip?" An older man sitting next to Dad asked.

"Yeah, I'm a patent attorney. I'm going to go get some patent rights for the firm I work for." Dad explained.

"Interesting. Do you think you'll be able to get those rights?" The man asked.

"Uh... Yeah, I'd say so..." Dad said.

"Well, if you put your mind to it, and you really believe in yourself, then you should be able to get them." The man said assuringly.

"Uh... yeah, sure, I guess so..." Dad said, slightly uncomfortable.

Suddenly, the plane started moving, much to everyone's surprise.

"What's going on here?!" Went one passenger.

"Have we've been even cleared for takeoff?" Went another.

Dad sighed, realizing that he was in for a long flight.

 **"Icky girls and gentleman! Thank you for choosing to fly with us to our nonstop flight from Cleveland to Chicago. We haven't been cleared for flight yet, but I don't really care, I'm tired of waiting. Also, we aren't bothering going over all that safety malarchy since nothing has changed in probably the last hundred years or whatever. So yeah, have a good flight!"**

Dad froze. His eye twitched.

"Are you okay?" The man asked.

"CALVIN!" Dad yelled as he got out of his seat and bolted to the front of the plane, only to be stopped by an attendant.

"Sir, please get back in your seat, we're going to be taking off." The flight attendant said, trying to prevent Dad from getting past him.

"I DON'T CARE! MY SON HAS HIJACKED THE PLANE!" Dad said in fury trying to get through.

"Relax sir, I'm sure everything-"

"You do realize he's six years old, right?"

The Flight Attendant stopped dead in his tracks. He realized that he didn't know that a six-year-old kid was controlling the plane.

"Well... I... Um... Just go back to your seat, then we can figure this out at 30,000 feet okay?" The flight attendant stammered out.

"I mean, would you rather die sooner or later?"

"Just do it for my own sanity..." The flight attendant grumbled.

Dad sighed, admitting defeat, and trudged back to his seat.

Meanwhile, in the cockpit, Calvin and Hobbes were controlling the plane. How? Well through various cartoonish and impossible scenarios that we're too lazy to go into detail about of course.

"I believe that we'll be getting a friendly visit from your father during our flight..." Hobbes remarked, hearing the commotion outside the cockpit.

"MY DAD?! Why can't I ever have fun without him barging in and ruining everything?!" Calvin remarked annoyed.

"Maybe if you weren't trying to commit federal crimes half the time he wouldn't..." Hobbes said.

"Shut up furball and tell that flight attendant to give us a bag of pretzels and some pop while I get this bad boy in the air." Calvin ordered to Hobbes as he began to fiddle with the controls of the plane.

"Whatever you say..." Hobbes said rolling his eyes.

Somehow, while nearly crashing into a couple of planes, Calvin got the plane off the ground and into the air without any major issues, and the plane was soon cruising as intended.

Meanwhile, Dad was stuck listening to his insufferable seat companion.

"Now I'm sure the nerves might be getting to you and all that, but my mentor taught me that going against my biggest fears leads to the greatest successes. This reminds me of when my youngest daughter was in high school and trying to beat the state record on the swim team..."

"This must be what the underworld is like..." Dad thought to himself.

 **"Attention idiots. We've now reached 30,000 feet. Refreshments and stuff will come shortly. And feel free to get up, stretch, move around and all that stuff. So yeah"**

Dad shot up at this. He finally had the chance to get to Calvin and from this weird old man.

"Would you care for any-" The flight attendant began to say before Dad barged out of his way and into the cockpit.

"CALVIN!"

"Oh hi Dad, funny seeing you here." Calvin greeted in a normal tone.

"Calvin, for the love of everything big and small, how on earth where you able to gain control of a commercial airliner?" Dad asked wearily.

"Eh, wasn't that hard..." Calvin remarked.

"Oh come on Calvin! This isn't the 90s where anyone can just walk into an airport and get on a plane!" Dad scoffed.

"Yeah, and I still haven't aged a day." Calvin said back.

Dad groaned.

"It was simple. I converted the time machine into a flying machine and got us here, then with some of my inventions Hobbes and I easily got around security, then we tricked the pilot that he had the wrong plane, and nobody has questioned a thing since!" Calvin explained proudly.

"I knew I should've just taken a train..." Dad sighed.

Then, Hobbes, who had been taking a nap, woke up, and saw a big, dark looking plane heading toward them.

"Um, Calvin?"

"What now Hobbes?" Calvin asked impatiently.

"You might wanna look out the window..." Hobbes said pointing to the plane.

Calvin looked, and his eyes bulged.

"The FBI?! How did they find me?! And more importantly, since when did they have planes?!" Calvin said shocked and dumbfounded.

Hobbes rolled his eyes and sighed.

Dad took notice too, even though he thought Calvin was just talking to his stuffed tiger, was relieved.

"FINALLY! MY KID WON'T BE THE END OF ME!" Dad said jumping up and down in joy.

"Not on my watch! Attention icky girls and gentlemen! We'll be making an emergency landing at wherever we are right now! So get ready!" Calvin said panicked into an intercom.

Then, somehow, two FBI agents crashed into the cockpit.

Dad was taken aback, his day couldn't get any weirder it seemed.

"Alright kid, let's come quietly now, shall we?" The first agent asked as he crept toward Calvin.

"Careful Tom! It's the Noodle Incident kid! He could be dangerous!" The second agent warned.

"I WAS FRAMED!" Calvin yelled as he had the plane make a sharp descent downward. Everyone was getting bounced around, and were unsure of what was happening next.

As Calvin and one of the agents fought over the controls, Hobbes sighed.

"Let me know when they set your bail." Hobbes remarked before he left, grabbed a parachute, and jumped out of the plane.

"CALVIN JUST GIVE IT UP ALREADY!" Dad yelled in panic!

"NEVER! ESPECIALLY SINCE THEY ARE MAKING ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT ME!" Calvin yelled as he continued to battle over the controls with the agent.

"I hate my job..." The other agent grumbled.

Then, Calvin suddenly jammed the controls, and then the plane began doing barrel rolls. Dad screamed at the top of his lungs, hoping it would stop.

* * *

"Calvin! Stop!" Dad yelled as he rolled out of his bed and onto the floor.

"Dear! Are you alright?!" Mom said as she turned on the lamp to check on him.

"What the? Calvin? The plane? The FBI?" Dad said in confusion, before realizing that it had all been a dream.

"Bad dream?" Mom asked.

"Yeah. It was kinda weird too, I got on the plane to go on my trip, and then I discovered that Calvin was the pilot..." Dad began to explain.

"Oh gosh, that's a nightmare for anyone..." Mom said wincing.

"Yeah... I think Calvin in control of any vehicle is a nightmare for anyone..." Dad remarked as he got back into bed and went back to sleep.

Meanwhile, Calvin had woken up as well.

"...and then all of sudden, the freaking FBI busted into the cockpit! And then one of them claimed that I was the Noodle Incident kid, so naturally, a battle between us broke out for control..." Calvin said as he described his dream to Hobbes.

Hobbes just sighed, he had honestly heard weirder, but with Calvin, you never know what you're going to get.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin/FBI Agent 1: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes/FBI Agent 2: Owen Wilson**

 **Dad/Attendant/** **Man: Paul Rudd**

 **Mom: Scarlett Johansson**

 _ **Special Guest Star: The Flight Attendant: Zach Woods**_

* * *

 **Next Episode: _12 Angry Calvin's_ : Calvin is accidentally assigned jury duty for a patent infringement case that his Dad is working. **


End file.
